Page 68 of You Were Never Not Mine

Sin:Awwww. Big bad August actually cares.

Fuck. I do. More than I’d ever want to admit.

Two days later and I still haven’t planned our date. Considering I’m a novice, I have zero idea where to start and I’m not about to ask my best friend because he’ll mock my ass the entire time and ask me stupid questions like if I’m in love or some such shit. I’m not in love. But I am hopelessly obsessed and wondering if I can work Sinclair out of my system. This could be a momentary blip in my life and eventually we’ll realize we’re not good for each other. Or she could be the love of my life and I’ll have to convince her we could make it work.

Either scenario, I’m the one doing all the heavy lifting, but it’s fine. I’m fine.

I consider asking my mother where would be a good restaurant to take a date to but that’ll just get her hopes up and I don’t want to do that. I’ve shown no real interest in girls my entire existence beyond fucking around with them and I definitely would never tell her that. Mentioning the worddateto my beautiful, romantic mother would be a huge mistake and open up all sorts of questions I don’t want to answer.

I decide to ask my sister for advice instead. Risky but fuck it. Iris has taste and she’ll know what to do.

Hitting the FaceTime button, I wait for her to answer. I’m taking a chance because she could be breastfeeding her little monster and that’s the last thing that I want to see but I’m desperate.

Iris answers on the fourth ring and blessedly, it’s only her I can see in the camera.

“August! Oh my God! Are you unwell?” The concern in her voice is obvious.

I’m immediately irritated. “What the fuck, Iris? Can’t I just…call you?”

“No. You can’t. There’s always a reason and honestly? You look…not irritated?”

“Do I usually look irritated?” I already know the answer.

“For sure,” she says without hesitation because if there’s one thing I can count on, it’s my sister being brutally honest. “And while you don’t necessarily look happy right now, you don’t seem pissed either. I take this as a good sign.”

I exhale loudly enough for her to hear, needing her to know I am now, indeed irritated, but she just sits there and grins. “I, uh, I need your opinion about something.”

The smile fades. “About what? Seriously, is everything okay?”

“I’m fine,” I bark out, immediately feeling like an asshole. “I just need help.”

“From me?” She rests her hand on her chest.

“Yes, from you. Where’s a good place to take someone to dinner?”

Iris blinks slowly. “Who are you taking to dinner?”

“A woman.”

“Are you going on a date, Augie?” Her eyes are huge and she’s got her hand on her chest again. Or did she ever remove it? “An actual date with an actual woman you’re…actually interested in?”

That’s three actuals in one sentence. “I don’t know if I’m interested in her.”

There I go lying again. I’m beyond interested in her. I literally cannot stop thinking about her. It’s fucking maddening.

“Who is it?”

“You don’t know her.” Lie number two.

“At least give me her name. You’d be surprised by how many people I actually do know.”

Iris is far more social than me. Friendlier. She’s a good time while I am most definitely not. “I don’t want to tell you who it is.”

“Then I don’t want to help you.” She crosses her arms in front of her chest. “Guess we’re done with this conversation.”

She is beyond exasperating. “Where’s your child?”

“Napping.”

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