Page 3 of You Were Never Not Mine

Four years later

Present day

“God, you’re so slow. Come on, Sinclair. Pick it up!” My roommate and newest friend Elise comes to a complete stop in the middle of the sidewalk, her exasperation obvious as she gawks at me. “From the way you’re acting, I’m starting to think you don’t even want to go to this party.”

“I don’t.” I’ve been telling her that since she first informed me that we were going. Like I didn’t have a choice. “You already know this.”

“Oh, come on.” Elise’s tone turns pleading, her eyes going wide. We’ve only been on campus for a month and while I did the boarding school thing throughout the entirety of high school, this is Elise’s first time living away from home. And from the moment she arrived, it’s like she’s doing everything in her power to go wild during the first semester of university life.And going to a party thrown by a particular—and extremely exclusive but wildly popular—frat is top on her wish list. “We’re going to have the best time! There are so many hot guys who are in this frat. We’ll find boyfriends by the end of the night for sure!”

Her naivety is shocking—and concerning.

“They’re all awful, Elise. Not a single one of them wants to be our boyfriend,” I remind her for what feels like the hundredth time.

It’s laughable, thinking any of them wants to be a boyfriend, especially to girls like us. I’m not knocking myself or Elise, but we’re young. Barely eighteen and completely inexperienced. Maybe some of our fellow first years would be interested in us, but strictly for a hookup. And how do I know this?

I went to Lancaster Prep with almost all of them, including the one who shall not be named. He’s the president of this brotherhood of assholes—no surprise considering he’s king asshole of the world—and this means he basically rules the entire campus, because of course he does. I thought I would only have to suffer that one year at Lancaster dealing with him, but here we go again. I’d hoped to avoid him on campus too. This place is huge and there is no reason for us to interact whatsoever. So why am I willingly walking into the lion’s den? “They’re only interested in what you can do for them. To them.”

“And what exactly can I do for them?” She falls into step beside me, curling her arm through mine and practically dragging me forward so we can keep up with the rest of our new friend group who are all chattering excitedly about the party we’re going to. I have a surreal moment of déjà vu and shake my head, telling myself it won’t end up like the last time I first encounteredhim.“I’m just little ol’ me.”

Please. She could do plenty. All of it involving sexual favors. I adore Elise. She’s been a great friend and roommate from themoment we met during move-in day. But she’s also incredibly naïve and adorably wholesome. She grew up in a very small town where she knew everyone and she has trust issues. Meaning, she trusts every single person she meets.

It’s a problem. One that I hope won’t eventually hurt her. And it won’t, as long as I have anything to do with it.

“I’m sure one of the douchebags will approach you,” I start.

She cuts me off by clapping her hands excitedly like she’s a five-year-old who was just informed she’s getting an ice cream cone for a job well done. “That’s exactly what I want! Have you seen the guys in that frat? They’re allgorgeous.”

I swear there are literal stars in her eyes. And Elise isn’t wrong. It’s just that the gorgeous faces and stellar bodies mask their ugly souls and assholish ways.

“And then one—or maybe a few—of those asshats are going to ask you for a hand job. Or a blow job.” Now I’m the one who’s dragging Elise while she digs in her heels, trying to get me to stop.

“No way.” She snakes her arm away from mine and throws her hands in the air, both of us coming to a stop again. We’re going to lose sight of the rest of our group if we keep this up. “You think every guy on this campus is looking to hook up with us and nothing more.”

I stare at her with a deadpan expression. “Because they are.”

“They’re not all that bad.” Elise rolls her eyes.

“Yes, they are.”

“No, they’re not.” She starts walking again and I trail after her. “Not every man thinks with his penis, Sinclair. I can’t help it if you’ve had a few bad experiences over the years. I’m the eternal optimist.”

I burst out laughing at her using the word penis. Elise rarely curses or uses crude slang words. She’s a good girl and I lovethat for her. I really do. But I also can’t always protect her from the scumbags of the earth, which means all of that good girl shine is going to get rubbed off here eventually and she’ll end up jaded. Like me.

Not that I have extensive experience with guys. I graduated from high school a dateless wonder. I didn’t go to any of the dances with a boy. I’ve never had a boyfriend. For a while there, I was the absolute laughingstock of the entire school thanks to August Lancaster.

Oh shit. I just thought of his name when I’m not supposed to.

But seriously. He made my first year of high school the most miserable experience of my life. I don’t know why or how I became his target, but I was, and it was a nightmare. The things that boy—man—put me through…

A shudder moves through me at the memories.

The moment he graduated from Lancaster Prep, I breathed a sigh of relief. And while I was faintly terrorized at school the beginning of my sophomore year by the boys who were part of his friend group, they eventually left me alone and I was able to walk across campus unscathed. But what came out of my experience with August and his constant harassment for a solid year when I was basically a child?

I trust no one, especially of the male variety. They’re the worst. I’m almost proud of my dateless status. I’d rather cruise through life unharmed and untouched than deal with some jackass who gets me to fall hopelessly in love, only for him to dump me hard and leave me a broken, sobbing mess. I saw it enough during high school with the friends I had, and I’m guessing I’m bound to see it happen with my roommate, AKA the eternal optimist.

“Hey.” Elise grabs hold of my arm, causing me to stop and I turn to face her. Her expression is grave, her brown eyes wideand unblinking. “If you don’t want to go, you don’t have to. I just thought…”

Her voice drifts and she goes annoyingly silent.

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