Page 99 of You Were Never Not Mine

“Then I’ll give you honesty. I’ve never allowed a woman to bury herself so deeply inside me before. We haven’t known each other long so I know this is just…I’m going to sound like a lunatic when I make this confession.” He goes quiet, leaving me hanging, and when he still doesn’t say anything, I’m overcome with the need to push him.

“What are you trying to tell me?”

“My family firmly believes that once they find their someone, that’s it. It’s an all-consuming, overwhelming obsession that can never be stopped. My parents have it. Their love for each other has never waned, even after all of these years. My father became fixated on my mother when they were only fourteen, and I always thought that was—terrifying.”

From the look on his face, he’s telling the truth. There’s a glimmer in his gaze that I’ve never seen before.

“Big, momentous love scared me, especially when your entire family talks about finding the one and then that’s it. Your life is over. I didn’t want to be tied down at fourteen. That’s fucking ridiculous. I still don’t want to be tied down. I’m only twenty-two. I’ve barely started living my life and now you come along and I can’t think about anything else. Feel anything else.It’s just you. All the fucking time. Right here.” He taps the side of his forehead, the despair on his face apparent. “It’s been a struggle I’ve been dealing with ever since I first saw you at that party. You’ve consumed me, Sin. I think about you every second of the day. I worry about you, and I don’t worry about anyone. Not a single soul. Maybe my parents. I definitely worry about my parents because someday, they won’t be here anymore and I can’t even fathom it so…yeah.”

He goes silent again and I stare into his beautiful blue eyes, loving how vulnerable he’s being. How open and honest and incredibly raw. It doesn’t even bother me that he said he’s not ready to be tied down. I don’t want to be tied down either. But…

August Lancaster has consumed me too. Ever since I crossed his path all those years ago. I hated him. But I was also secretly…obsessed with him? Yes, I totally was. Maybe we had some sort of connection and neither of us even realized it. Could that be possible? He didn’t even know me or care about me back then. He forgot I even existed. Or at least that’s what he claims.

I should be offended I was that forgettable to him, but I can’t deny the connection between us. The chemistry. The power in knowing that this influential, wealthy man has fallen for me.

Me.

“I’ve done a lot of shit in my life that’s fucked up, and I never apologize for it. Saying sorry doesn’t come easy for me because I’m rarely sorry about anything. I do what I do and move on. Did I hurt your feelings? Sorry. Did I forget your name the second after I fucked you? Definitely.”

While I know he’s not talking about me, his words do hurt a little.

“I forgot all about you after making your life a living hell and, Sin, that fucking digs deep. It makes me feel like a terrible human.”

“You are a terrible human,” I remind him.

He grimaces. “Having you in my life will be that constant reminder. That I treated you so terribly and dismissed you from my memory is just—heartless.”

I touch his cheek, letting my fingers drift across his stubble-covered skin and he leans into my palm, his eyes closing briefly. When he opens them, I see the sincerity glittering there and it takes my breath away.

“I’m sorry for how I treated you back then, and I know that what I did was unforgivable but, Sinclair, I’m begging you to forgive me.” His voice is rough and he clears his throat. “Please.”

Chapter Forty-Four

AUGUST

She drops her hand from my face the moment I finish speaking and I take it as a bad sign. I’ve never been more nervous in my life. As a matter of fact, I don’t get nervous. Ever. Until the moment I found this girl. This woman who’s become such an important part of my life. I don’t understand my feelings for her, but I’m trying. Instead of running away from it, running away from her, I’m coming to her and laying myself bare.

Vulnerability doesn’t come easy for most men, but especially Lancaster men. I’m not what anyone would describe as a sensitive person. Quite frankly, I’m an unfeeling bastard and have always been okay being perceived as such. Until it came to her.

Sinclair.

I never understood the sayingpins and needlesuntil now. My skin prickles and stings the longer she takes to answer and my head swims. The possibility that she could say no never crossed my mind, but she might. I need her like I need air, but does she need me? Does she want me, or is my past treatment of her too big to ignore?

She hasn’t kicked me out of her bed yet so I take that as a good sign.

When she takes a deep breath, I can feel her chest rise against mine. I’m attuned to her every little movement. The way she breathes. How often she blinks. Her tongue peeks out, the tip touching the center of her upper lip, and I can’t take it anymore. I’m about to say something most likely risky as fuck that could possibly ruin everything but she speaks first.

Thank God.

“I forgive you,” she murmurs, her lids lifting and revealing her shiny golden gaze. She even smiles, her body shifting. Rising until her mouth is level with mine. “I forgave you a while ago, I just hadn’t said it out loud yet.”

“Thank you.” I crush her to me, burying my face against her fragrant neck, my eyes closed so tightly it hurts. “Thank you.”

She wraps her arms around me, her hands sliding into the hair at the back of my head and when I lift my head to look at her, our mouths meet. Melt into each other in a sweet kiss that I try to keep that way, but it’s so fucking hard. She tastes delicious and when our tongues meet, that’s it. A groan sounds deep in my chest, the kiss going from sweetly sexy to filthy in an instant. I want to consume her and I do, thrusting my tongue in her mouth, searching. My hands wandering, gathering the hem of her T-shirt, desperate to touch her bare skin. She’s warm and smooth and she helps me get rid of her shirt, tossing it over her head so it lands on the floor.

My hands on her hips, I shift her into position so she’s sitting on top of me and I’m lying on my back on the mattress, opening my eyes to find her already watching me. My gaze drops to her chest, her perfect tits encased in pale pink lace, and I can see her nipples straining against the thin fabric. My mouth waters and I run my hands along her waist, cupping her breasts, rubbing my thumbs across her nipples. She arches into my hands, her head falling back, exposing the length of herneck, and I lift up. Licking a path along her throat, nibbling the spot where her neck meets her shoulder and making her hiss in a breath.

Reaching around her, I mess with the clasp until I’ve got the bra undone and she shrugs out of it, tossing it onto the floor so it lands on top of her T-shirt. Within seconds, my mouth is on her skin, licking and sucking one nipple, then the other. She holds me to her, whimpering when I pull extra hard with my mouth and I wonder if she knows how much I want to devour her. I can’t get enough.

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