Page 88 of You Were Never Not Mine

“I didn’t,” she reminds me. “You figured it out on your own.”

I tap the side of my head. “I’m just that smart, I guess.”

“I guess so.”

We keep grinning at each other like idiots and I leanforward, stretching my hand across the table so I can take hold of hers. “Let’s get the hell out of here.”

More blinking. I think she enjoys pretending to be shocked at what I say. Or maybe I do actually surprise her. “You want to leave? Now?”

I lower my voice. “I want to get you alone.”

A slight shiver moves through her, but I notice. I notice everything about her. I’m fixated on her. And I’m tired of playing around. Tired of waiting. The need to fuck her, claim her, burns inside me. Insistently.

“What do you want to do to me when we’re alone?” Her eyes have gone wide and I feel like I’ve created a monster. She’s part seduction, part innocence and God, the depraved things I could tell her would probably burn her ears and make her want to run far, far away from me.

“How about instead of telling you, I show you instead.” I grasp her fingers in mine and give them a gentle squeeze before letting her go. “Let’s leave.”

“You didn’t finish your?—"

“Fuck the meal, Sinclair. I’ll pay on the way out and we’re going back to my apartment. Now.” There I go again, acting like an impatient prick, but I can’t help myself. We don’t need to stall this moment any longer.

She nods, ducking her head for only a moment before she returns her gaze to mine. “Okay.”

Satisfaction makes my chest tight and I take a deep breath, relieved. Damn, I love a submissive woman.

Chapter Thirty-Nine

SINCLAIR

August hustles me out of the restaurant at breakneck speed and we hurry down the sidewalk together toward his apartment building, neither of us speaking. It’s cold outside and I can see my breath every time I part my lips. Late October and the weather has already turned.

Not that I care about the weather. Though I suppose I’m thinking about it or else my thoughts stray to what we’re about to do, August and me. Have sex. Intercourse. For the first time ever. That I’ve taken my bully as my lover is still mind-blowing. I can only imagine what fourteen-year-old Sinclair would say to me.

She’d tell me I’ve lost my marbles. I probably have. But the connection August and I share is so strong and feels so right. It’s hard to explain or describe. It’s just there, always brewing between us. Growing and growing throughout the evening at the restaurant until I saw the flicker of impatience in his eyes. He was over what he’d probably call a play date. He’s ready to get to the good stuff and while I’m eager, I’m also incredibly nervous.

What if it hurts? What if he can’t even get inside me? I had afriend in high school who had that problem. She’d freeze up so badly every time her boyfriend tried to enter her, he literally couldn’t push his way inside of her. She was clamped up so tightly, he’d try and try, but it was like trying to bust down a steel door. They couldn’t make it work because sex was basically impossible and eventually, he broke up with her.

What a jerk. So insensitive. And that worries me because August is the least sensitive person I know. Will he end things with me if the sex is bad? So far, our experiences together haven’t been bad at all, at least to me. But what do I know? I don’t have a lot of experience when it comes to this sort of thing. He hasn’t left yet. He actually says he’s obsessed with me and that’s…well I don’t know how to feel about it.

I love it, but is he being real with me? Maybe he’s just obsessed with what he can’t have. Tonight, he’s going to get it and he might leave me after. If he does, what an asshole.

Ugh, that part is scary because we all know August is an asshole. I’m the one who’s putting everything on the line for this guy. To get dumped by him will break me. I’m in too deep. No matter how much I tried to warn myself, here I am. Completely into him. On my way to falling for him.

I’m hopeless.

The moment we enter the lobby of his building, he grabs my hand and heads for the elevator. The doors slide open as soon as he hits the up button and he drags me inside, turning toward me when the doors slide closed with a soft swoosh.

He’s on me in an instant, his hands cupping my cheeks and his mouth finding mine in a hungry kiss. I respond in kind, parting for his probing tongue, winding mine around his. He pushes me against the elevator wall, his body flush with mine and I can feel him. Hard and thick and insistent.

The elevator comes to a stop and the doors slide open. He’s off me just as quickly, smoothing his hair away from his forehead as he strolls out of the elevator. I follow after himon wobbly feet, overcome with a thousand emotions his mouth and hands seem to elicit within me every time we collide. Why was I nervous about this moment again? The second he places his hands on my body all rational thought leaves me. And currently, I’m thinking too much. Thinking too hard.

It's pointless. I need to just go with the flow. Nature will take its proper course and I am, after all, in good hands.

Spectacular hands, truly.

He reaches the door as I’m still walking down the corridor and he opens it, his impatience radiating toward me. I make my way to him, walking past where he stands and entering the apartment with my head held high and he lets the door shut behind him, his hands landing on my waist, keeping me still in the foyer.

I’m trembling when I feel his mouth brush the side of my neck, goosebumps erupting all over my skin. His hands slide forward, settling on my stomach, and I rest my hands over his, closing my eyes and tilting my head back to give him better access.

---