Page 44 of You Were Never Not Mine

Elise and I are in our dorm room, getting ready to start our day. I’ve wanted to approach this idea with her since August mentioned it in his incredibly rude way and while I know deep in my soul that I shouldn’t give this man what he wants, I’m tempted. I’m more than tempted. I’ve already made the appointment and I’m hoping against hope Elise will go with me as moral support.

She’s applying mascara to her eyelashes, her gaze finding mine in the reflection of the mirror she’s currently in front of. “What do you need?”

Taking a deep breath, I blurt, “I want you to come with me to my first waxing appointment.”

“Ow.” Elise nearly pokes her eye out with the mascara wand and she drops it, turning to look at me. “Well, that was the last thing I expected you to say.”

“What did you expect?”

“I don’t know, but not that.” She’s grinning, despite the streak of mascara beneath her right eye. “When is your appointment?”

“Later this afternoon.” I sink my teeth into my lower lip so hard, itstings. “I’m nervous.”

“Oh, don’t worry. It’s not so bad.” Elise shrugs.

“You’ve done it before?”

Nodding, Elise grabs a Q-tip and turns toward the mirror once more, dabbing away the stray mascara. “Plenty of times.”

I’m not surprised. She’s far more daring than I could ever be. “Are you completely bare or do you leave a little strip?”

“I’ve done the strip. I’ve gone totally bare. I’m bare now, though it’s growing back in a little.” She grimaces. “That can be itchy, just to warn you.”

I don’t even care about itchy. My biggest hang-up is the fact that someone is going to have their face down there. A stranger. And that’s weird.

You let August shove his face down there. He had his mouth and tongue all over you and you didn’t protest. As a matter of fact, you were sad when it was over.

That naggy little voice in my head can be a real bitch sometimes.

“Why are you doing this anyway?” Elise turns to look at me again, grinning. “For Tim?”

I frown. I almost ask who when she said his name. Then I remember everything that’s happened between all of us—specifically Elise, Rafe and Tim—and I roll my eyes. “Stop trying to make Tim happen. It’s never going to happen.”

Her smile fades. She doesn’t even mention myMean Girlsreference, which is disappointing. “Come on, Sinclair. You know I feel guilty about all of that.”

“And it’s fine. It really is.” I mean it, though she never believes me. I’m not interested in Tim anymore. I never really was, especially once August reentered my life and proceeded to rock my world. Not that it could happen again. I’m probably waxing my entire vagina for nothing. I’m sure he’s forgotten all about me. “I don’t care what you three do.”

Elise’s gaze is full of guilt. “You’re such a good friend. I don’tdeserve you. Anyone else would judge the shit out of me and I wouldn’t blame them. I’m a total ho.”

“You are not a ho.” I go to her and wrap her up in a hug and she clings to me for a minute, her face pressed against my shoulder. “I envy how—free you are.”

“Free?” She pulls away slightly, frowning. “Free like I spread my legs too much? Is that what you mean?”

“No, of course not.” I keep my tone gentle. This girl beats herself up a lot. Makes me wonder if people judged her in the past. “I envy your sexual freedom. You’re not afraid to experiment, Elise. Most everything you do, I could never.”

“Well, college is the best time to let go and be free. Trust me.” She’s smiling again, her earlier worry forgotten. “I’ll go with you to your appointment.”

“You will?” I’m actually touched and surprised. I’m so used to doing most things on my own, not wanting anyone to help me. Especially since I never want my parents around or involved that much in my life. They’re embarrassing. My mom talks too much and makes everything about her. When they sent me away to boarding school, it felt good to get away from them all the time. Once they came into the money, they became completely overbearing. Especially my mother.

“Sure. Maybe I could get a wax there too. We can do it together! It’ll be fun.” Elise grins.

Do it together? Is she serious? That doesn’t sound fun.

Not at all.

I made the appointment online at The Wax Studio, which was the closest waxing salon to our campus. Since I scheduled it at three, that gave us plenty of time to walk over to the strip mall where the studio is located when we were finished with school for the day.

“Oh, this place looks cute,” Elise says as we approach the building. The front of the studio is nothing but glass windows and while I’d normally agree with her that it looked cute inside, I’m too nervous about what’s going to happen. It’s like I’m tongue-tied and I can’t speak.

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