Page 121 of You Were Never Not Mine

“I will always defend you.” My voice is fierce, my heart racing. I’m angry on her behalf and I have no one to take it out on. “Don’t ever doubt me, Sin.”

Leaning in, she presses her mouth to mine, whispering against my lips, “I won’t.”

Chapter Fifty-Four

SINCLAIR

My mother texted me throughout dinner, slinging insults at first and then turning it around, begging me to leave the Lancaster house. She offered to come back and pick me up. That the Lancasters are mean, awful people and I have no business being there. That August Lancaster will only bring me down.

I ignored all of her texts, not responding to a single one. There’s no point in arguing with her. She believes she’s right and she’ll die on that hill.

August eventually took my phone away from me and I enjoyed the rest of the night stress-free, pushing all thoughts of my mother out of my mind. I’m glad that everyone seemed to like my dad, which isn’t always the case. Maybe he’s changed. Maybe my mom has too. I don’t know what to think about them, especially her.

“You want me to give you my opinion?” Iris finally asks me after the dinner plates have been cleared and we’re waiting for dessert.

“Yes,” I say at the same time August says “No.”

Iris ignores her brother. “I think she’s jealous of you. Yourmom. She sees you and how happy you are. How we’re all accepting you as part of our family, and it makes her feel left out. Maybe she’s unhappy with her life, I don’t know, but I get the sense that her behavior toward you is all driven by envy.”

Her words linger in my thoughts for the rest of the evening. If anyone would’ve told me my mom was jealous of my life, I would’ve laughed. She’s the one with the big house and all the money to spend. Why would she be jealous of anything I have? She has far more than me.

But I’m younger. I’m just starting my life while she’s fully settled in hers and I think she’s been dissatisfied for a while. Not that I’m excusing my father’s behavior, but maybe there’s a reason he’s cheating on her. Maybe it has something to do with her too, and not just him. I have a hard time forgiving him for his infidelity, but marriage is a two-way street. It’s hard work.

I’ve come to the conclusion that I don’t want to be like her. Jealous and unhappy. Nagging everyone and asking inappropriate questions. If she’s truly unsatisfied, she needs to leave my father. But she won’t.

I know she won’t.

We return to the sitting room after dessert, but I’m so tired I can barely keep my eyes open and when August catches me yawning yet again, he finally has to say something to me.

“You should go to bed. You seem exhausted.”

I offer him a sleepy smile. “It was a rough night. I knew it would be.”

“You did.” He pats my shoulder, a chaste move on his part. “It’s late. Go get some sleep.”

I say my goodbyes to everyone and exit the room, walking slowly up the staircase, taking in the opulence that is the Lancaster house.

It’s nothing like my mom and dad’s house. Does Mom feel like she can’t measure up? No one can when compared to thisfamily. She might be hard on me, but why is she also so hard on herself?

I don’t get it.

Parental trauma is real and I suffer from it. Maybe that’s what drew me to August in the first place? Oh God, that’s just too deep for me to contemplate at the moment.

By the time I’m in my room and taking off my clothes, there’s an urgent knock on my door, followed by the door handle rattling. I can’t help but smile. I’d know that knock anywhere.

Rushing to the door, I turn the lock and open it, August crowds me, pushing his way inside and shutting the door behind him, switching that lock back into place before he reaches for me. I go willingly, crashing into his arms, gasping when his hands land on my butt, slipping beneath my sheer panties and gripping my bare flesh. His mouth is on mine in an instant, his kiss almost frantic, lips moving and tongue searching like he’s trying to dig deep.

“Are you mad at me?” he murmurs against my mouth as he walks me backward, heading toward the bed.

“Why would I be mad at you?” I’m seriously confused. He’s done nothing but stand by my side all evening and he thinks I’m angry?

“I talked some shit to your mom, Sin. She might’ve made you mad, but I was mean to her and that’s your mother.” He lifts away from me, his lazy gaze meeting mine. “I’ll go down in flames defending my mother. I wouldn’t stand for anyone insulting her.”

“That’s because your mother is a wonderful person who believes in you. Unlike mine.” I hook my arms around his neck, sliding my fingers into his silky soft hair. “I don’t want to talk about her.”

“You sure about that?” His eyes fall to half-mast and I know he likes the way I’m stroking his hair.

“Positive.” My voice is firm, my thoughts settled. “Though I do have one thing to say.”

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