Page 29 of The Devil's Spawn

“I’m not upset about you and Ian.” Sure, I shared enough history with Ian that the idea of him moving on wasn’t the easiest thing to face, but the pain was but a phantom ping—an ache stamped on my heart like a fading tattoo. “I was actually hoping you’d want to help me shop for…Halloween costumes.”

Not pregnancy tests. No siree.

Besides, I did need to find a costume for Eve. I was fairly certain Gage would give me permission to leave the house if I told him I was shopping for Halloween costumes. “I need to find something for Eve.”

“Okay.” But doubt tinged her voice. “My shift ends in an hour.”

I told her where to meet me, then she hung up without a goodbye, which was a very Simone-like thing to do. Two hours later, we were sorting through the racks at a costume shop in comfortable silence.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Simone asked, breaking the quiet between us. Okay, so comfortable wasn’t the word I’d use, but I hadn’t realized my distress was that noticeable, and she obviously mistook it for unhappiness over her new relationship status.

“I’m fine,” I said, fingering the lace on an Elsa ensemble—which wassotwo years ago according to Eve. “Why?”

Simone gave a sarcastic quirk of her brow. “You’ve been touching that hideous costume for the last three minutes while staring into space.”

Expelling a sigh, I let Elsa’s cheap and scratchy blue skirt slip from my fingers. It was now or never. “I need to buy a pregnancy test.” My emotions were all over the fucking place. The threat of tears burned my eyes, but on the opposite end of the spectrum, my belly fluttered with the possibility of a positive sign.

A literal fucking positive sign.

Cool it, Kayla. It’s probably nothing.

“Hey, this is great news…isn’t it?” She frowned. “You’ve been trying to get knocked up with that devil’s spawn for…well, for what seems like forever.”

“Gage doesn’t know I’m buying a test.”

“Oooh,” she said, drawing out the word. “You’re worried he’s going to turn you over his knee for goingmum’s-the-word?”

“Something like that.” A spanking over his knee was foreplay. More than anything, I hated the thought of him finding out about the test if it ended up being negative. I wasn’t sure I could handle the disappointment in his eyes. He tried to hide it, but after living most of his adult life believing he was unable to have children, only to find out the diagnosis had been incorrect, I knew how much he wanted this.

A baby of his own.

Katherine had robbed him of Conner’s early childhood years, and Eve had been three-years-old when he’d forced his way into our lives. He wanted this badly…possibly more than I did.

“You know how I feel about that man,” Simone said, “but I think he’d want to go through this with you, no matter the results.”

“I know you’re right.”

“What’s the problem then?”

“I need to be sure before I tell him.”

She grabbed my arm and escorted me to a bench designated for shoppers to try on shoes. “And you’ll have an answer soon, but first you need to take a few deep breaths and calm down.” She settled beside me, and I buried my face in my hands, drawing shallow, hot breaths from between my palms.

“We’ll go to the pharmacy together, okay?”

“What if I’m not?”

“But what if you are?” she said. “Only one way to find out.”

And that’s when I realized that both outcomes equally terrified me—a reaction I hadn’t expected. I figured I’d be overjoyed at the possibility of being pregnant, but now that I had a real chance I considered things I hadn’t thought of until now.

Like the fact that I was prone to miscarriages and tubal pregnancies.

Or how my slave duties would make carrying a baby difficult. How would I handle Gage’s rituals and punishments on top of pregnancy? And then, after the baby arrived…would I be too exhausted to want sex, let alone kneel on command, ready to please?

Simone pulled me to my feet. “Okay, no more freaking out about this. Let’s buy a test and get an answer.” She ushered me through the mall and to the parking lot with a purposeful stride.

Simone was a life savor that afternoon. She ran into the pharmacy and came out fifteen minutes later with half a dozen tests, each one advertised at being the best, most accurate on the market. Somehow, she knew I wasn’t ready to go home yet, so she drove straight to her house.

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