Page 75 of I Hate You More

I somehow managed not to crumble and kept myself composed as I hardened my gaze. “Can’t you see this is all too much?” I said. “I just wanted someone to hook up with, and who better than a well-known player like Chase Williams. Instead, here you are spouting crap about love.”

The color drained from Chase’s face as my words lashed out at him. “You don’t mean that.”

“Yes, I do,” I replied, taking a step toward him. “I thought you would be a bit of fun for a while, but you’re way too much work for me. You should probably go back to hating me, and protect your little heart because I’m done with this.”

I didn’t wait for his response. I couldn’t even look at him as I walked past him and out the door. I kept on walking and didn’t stop until I’d left the house and was halfway down the street.

I took in deep, gasping breaths as the reality of what I’d done finally struck me. Chase and I were done, and I couldn’t have been more miserable. I pulled my phone out of my back pocket as tears started streaming down my face.

Tessa answered on the first ring. “What happened?”

“I think I love him.” Speaking the words out loud only made my tears fall faster. “I think I love him, and now, I know I can’t be with him.”

“It’s going to be okay, Ally.”

I dropped to the ground and sat on the curb, violently shaking my head. “It’s never going to be okay, Tessa. We can’t be together, and even if we could, I made sure Chase would never want it.”

“What did you do?”

“I made sure he hated me for real.”

25

Chase

“Chase,my boy, you don’t look so good,” Gramps said as I sat in a chair across from him.

“Wow, thanks, Gramps.” I shifted uncomfortably under his close inspection. I hadn’t gotten much sleep during the night, and it showed. The bright lights of the nursing home probably weren’t helping hide the bags under my eyes either.

Maybe I should have put off visiting today, but I couldn’t spend another moment in the Lockwood house, and coming to see Gramps was the best escape I could come up with. I’d even considered spending the day back at my house, but there was nothing appealing about the idea of returning to that empty mausoleum.

Gramps shook his head and slowly leaned back in his reclining chair. “Got to stop with all the partying.”

“I wish I was tired from too much partying,” I muttered.

I don’t think he heard my reply because he kept on talking like I hadn’t said a thing. “How’s that girl of yours going?”

“Ally’s not my girl.”

He gave me a knowing smile, and I immediately recognized my mistake. I’d filled in the blank with Ally’s name. I let out a sigh and shrugged. “She’s fine. I guess.”

“You guess?” He frowned at me. “You don’t know?”

My eyes darted away from his as I responded. “She’s not really talking to me.” Ally had been actively avoiding me since yesterday. She’d left the house after thoroughly rejecting me and didn’t return until after dinner. When she saw me in the kitchen this morning, she immediately turned and walked right out of the room again. It clearly wasn’t a coincidence that she hadn’t emerged from her room since.

“But last time we spoke, you said things were going well…”

“I thought they were.” I rubbed the side of my face as I considered the Ally problem for what felt like the millionth time since our disastrous date the day before. I thought things had changed between us, and I’d stupidly started to open my heart to her. I’d even felt confident enough about the connection between us that I’d told her the truth about my actions at the dance all those years ago. I’d been far too embarrassed to admit them before now. Clearly, I’d been right to keep the truth a secret all this time because she’d gone and done what I’d always feared and thrown it all back in my face.

Her words had hit me hard and fast. Like a whip, they’d lashed against my skin and sliced into me with such force that even now I felt the welts they’d left behind. Then, she’d stormed from the room without a backward glance. I’d been hurt and surprised, and it had taken me precious moments to react. By the time I tried to go after her, she’d completely disappeared.

“What happened?” he asked.

“She told me she didn’t want to be with me. I guess she finally saw the real me and decided she didn’t like it.” It was a horrible truth I’d been trying to avoid thinking, let alone saying out loud. Ally had seen the pathetic boy I hid beneath my carefully crafted, emotionless shell and decided she hated him too.

Gramps shook his head though. “I don’t believe any girl would walk away after getting to know the real you.”

“You have to say that,” I grumbled.

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