Page 72 of I Hate You More

I frowned at the question. With all the drama of the evening, I had totally forgotten about our date, and it felt like an awkward time to be talking about it. “Are you sure you still want to?”

“Of course, I do,” he said.

“Then I guess it’s still on,” I replied.

His smile warmed as he nodded and slowly started to stand. I jumped to my feet and stopped him before he reached his bedroom door though.

“Chase, why did you quit football?” His dad had been unbearable as he constantly reminded us all that Chase was no longer on the team. He’d talked about it with such bitterness, like he couldn’t wait to rub salt in Chase’s wound. I couldn’t help but wonder the reason why he quit.

He turned to me, his eyes sparking with emotion. “Because I finally realized I wasn’t playing it for me.”

He turned before I could respond, and his shoulders were stiff as he walked into his room. I felt a twinge of sorrow for him as I watched him go. Over the last few weeks, I’d begun to see a side of Chase that was different than the front he usually put on. I’d seen the smiles he kept hidden and the kindness he was capable of. Chase had always seemed so strong, and he acted like he didn’t care about anything, but after seeing the way his family treated him, I was beginning to see why. He shielded himself with a hard exterior to protect what I suspected was a warm and fragile heart.

I was slowly chipping away at his defenses, but was I prepared for what I would find when his walls finally came crashing down? Was he really a good guy beneath all his snide remarks and indifferent behavior, or were the glimpses of kindness I’d seen just another act?

I might have decided to go through with the final stage of the plan, but it wasn’t too late to change my mind. I had until tomorrow if I wanted to back out. The difficulty was tomorrow felt all too soon right now.

24

Ally

Sleep escaped me that night.Lethargy might have been coiled around my limbs, but my mind was fighting the fatigue the rest of my body felt. I lay in the darkened room staring at the book Chase had given me. It was sitting on my bedside table taunting me. I’d finished it a week ago but had yet to give it back. I selfishly held onto it, which seemed appropriate given the story.

I wasn’t sure why I kept it, but the moment he’d left it outside my door, everything between us had started to change. I might have felt an intense pull of attraction to him before then, but it was only after he gave me the book that Chase had started to steal parts of my heart as well. That he’d started to make me question what I was doing with the plan and wonder if I wanted to go through with it at all.

Chase had been a source of unhappiness for me for years now, and I’d hated him with a fire that burned so brightly I’d been unable to see past its flames. Like all fires that burned so hot, it had taken a while for it to reduce to mere embers, and now that it had, I was finally seeing Chase for more than the boy who sabotaged my first kiss.

How could I trust this new Chase though when the past had proven him so different? My heart and mind both wrestled over the answer, and the indecision was wrecking me. It was like an intense battle was happening inside me without regard for the damage it did along the way. My heart might come out of this in tatters, but it didn’t seem to care.

I must have stared at that stupid book for hours, and all too soon, the shadows in my room began to turn from black to navy as dawn approached. When a slither of light formed at the bottom of my curtain, I picked up the phone and called Tessa

She answered on the fifth ring. “Ally?” she groaned. “What time is it?”

“Six,” I replied, my answer greeted by another groan.

“Six? Why are you calling me in the middle of the night?”

“The sun’s rising, it’s hardly the middle of the night.”

“It feels like the middle of the night.”

I shook my head, deciding to press on before she hung up and went back to sleep. “I’m still not sure I’m doing the right thing trying to get Chase kicked out,” I said.

“You called me at six in the morning to tell me that?”

“I couldn’t sleep.”

She released a long, drawn-out breath before she answered. “I thought you’d made up your mind.”

“I had,” I replied. “But his parents came over last night, and they were absolutely horrible to him. I guess I kind of know why he’s always been so cold now, and I don’t think I can stomach sending him home to them.”

“Ally, lots of people have shit parents, it doesn’t excuse them for being shit people. And they’rehis parents, Ally. They may not be great ones, but they’re who he belongs with.”

“I know,” I murmured. “I’m just not sure Chase is a shit person.”

“Ally, he either is or he isn’t.” Her voice had taken on a more decisive tone, so I figured that meant she was really awake now. Or that she really wanted to go back to sleep.

I paused as I considered what she’d said. She made it sound so easy to decide what kind of person Chase was. There were so many layers to his personality though. For years I’d only seen his hard outer shell, but now, I was starting to realize there was so much more to him. He’d done some bad things, but deep down, I was starting to realize they didn’t make him a bad person.

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