Page 62 of I Hate You More

“I don’t think I should either,” I agreed. I didn’t take a step to leave though. I felt a heady rush at being in Chase’s room, alone with him in the darkness, and I couldn’t make myself leave.

He pulled back the bed covers and started to stand. All he was wearing were his pajama pants, and I felt somewhat relieved I couldn’t see him more clearly. He paced toward me slowly, like he was worried I might frighten if he came at me too fast.

“Ally, what are you doing in here?” he asked as he reached me. He stood just a foot away, but, in the darkness of the room, it felt much closer.

He’d already asked me the question once, but apparently, my first answer wasn’t good enough. I couldn’t pin down my exact motivation for coming into his room though. So, I gave him the closest answer I could find.

“I’m here because you’re driving me crazy,” I said, taking a step toward him and closing the gap between us. Our bodies were only inches apart, but even that small distance seemed far too much. The energy between us felt electric, and the sparks only grew stronger as I neared. I wasn’t sure what I was doing, and my body seemed to have a mind of its own as I reached out a hand and slowly traced a finger down his chest. His skin was hot and hard, and Chase took in a sharp breath, freezing under my touch.

“Ally,” he murmured my name like it pained him, but he didn’t move to push my hand away. My heart was beating wildly as my tumultuous feelings ran riot through my body.

“Tell me you don’t feel anything for me,” I whispered, slowly looking up into his eyes. I needed him to deny any feelings he might have for me so I could become rational around him once more, but a part of me also desperately wanted him to do the opposite. He seemed just as torn as me as he met my gaze.

“Is that what you want?”

“Yes.”

He didn’t say the words I needed to hear though. Instead, he slowly lifted his hands and traced them down the outside of my arms. They moved slowly downward before settling on my waist. I pushed down a shiver as the hairs on my skin stood on end, in the wake of his touch. I enjoyed the way his hands felt as they moved against my skin, but I knew it wasn’t the kind of reaction I was supposed to have. I was supposed to revile everything about him, and I hated that I didn’t.

“Can you really not stand being this close to me?” he asked.

His thumbs had started making small circles against my hips. The sensation was a kind of sweet ecstasy that I was desperate to stop but also never wanted to end. I unconsciously nodded in response because being so close to him was a kind of torture. His light touch wasn’t enough, and I wanted to be closer still, but I also desperately wanted it to end and to be as far from him as possible.

It was like an intense battle of tug-of-war, and I was a fraying piece of rope being jerked in two extreme directions.

“Yes, this is horrible,” I agreed.

A soft smile spread across his face. “I thought you might say that. I hate this just as much as you do.”

His touch was killing me. It was all I could focus on, and my head was spinning as I tried to think about anything else other than the way he was making me feel. I felt like we were playing with fire. One wrong move and the whole house would go up in flames. I enjoyed the way the heat licked against my skin, and I savored the buzz of adrenaline that was pulsing through me as I was drawn to the very thing that had hurt me before and would probably do so again.

The whole world had gone quiet around me, and all I could hear was the soft sound of Chase’s breaths. Like me, he was barely breathing at all. As I looked into his eyes, I could see tension building within them. It was like the two of us were standing at the edge of a precipice, agonizingly close to falling over the edge.

These small torturous temptations weren’t enough though and I was ready to fall. “Tell me you don’t feel anything for me,” I begged one last time.

“I can’t do that,” he said before his lips descended on mine. I’d been trying to be cautious with the fire that burned between us, but now, I let the flames consume me. Chase’s every touch was white-hot and incendiary. I’d had a few fumbled kisses before, but none of them compared to the overwhelming bliss I was experiencing as Chase devoured my lips. I’d be nothing more than a pile of ash once he was done with me, but this was worth being burned to the ground for.

It wasn’t the perfect kiss; it was the kind of kiss that was sparked by raw emotion. It was messy and heated but so passionate I never wanted it to end. This one kiss would be my destruction because I knew it would never be enough and, when it was over, I would be left always craving more.

When I finally pulled back from him, I was breathless. With one kiss, I felt as though everything had changed. The feelings rushing through me were powerful and undeniable; there was no faking the intense connection between us. My body protested as I stepped back, but I needed to get away from the strong pull of Chase’s orbit before my world was thrown irreparably off-kilter.

I stared at him with wide eyes as I tried to process what we’d just done. It seemed I wasn’t alone with my inner turmoil, and Chase was staring right back at me with just as many questions in his eyes.

“So, that just happened,” he said, finally breaking the silence between us.

“Yeah, I guess it did.”

“You seem confused.”

My brow creased in a small frown as I thought about it. I was confused but not for any reason he would guess. I’d finally achieved the next step in my plan to get rid of him, but now that I’d succeeded, I wasn’t sure it was what I wanted anymore.

He gave me a warm smile. “If it helps, I’m happy to kiss you again so you can work out any of that confusion.”

I quickly shook my head. Kissing Chase again right now would only make it worse. “What does this mean?”

“It means I like you, Ally Lockwood.”

His words stole my breath away, and my stomach flared with guilt. I’d somehow succeeded against all odds in making Chase like me, and I should have been happy about it. But instead, the plan felt like a dark gray cloud hanging over my head. I needed to get out of Chase’s room and clear my thoughts.

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