Page 2 of Atlas

I want to ask him if he’s okay.

He’s the kind of person who doesn’t seem to have a jealous or mean bone in their body, but he also feels everything deeply.

I’ve seen a lot of Atlas’ private heartbreak this past year. He’s confessed things to me on those late nights we spent onrenovations or studying for classes I didn’t even want to be taking.

I open my mouth, but the words won’t come.

My sister just found out that she and Bullet are going to have a baby. It was supposed to be a private moment, but she was freaking out and I was freaking out, and Atlas was there to see the whole thing. Of course, he appeared thrilled for them, but I can’t help but think that it has to be triggering for him. He was in love with someone, and she ended things because he couldn’t have children. At least not easily. To Jodie, he wasn’t worth fighting for.

I’m so overjoyed that my sister found happiness with a good man and that now they’re going to be a family. The prospect of being an auntie scares me half to death and is also the most thrilling, amazing thing in the world, but I can’t stop thinking about how much Atlas must be hurting.

Atlas vaults over the side of the truck, his big boots hitting the pavement right beside me. Those cerulean eyes map my face, and his brows knit together. “Whoa. You look… off. Are you okay? If you’re nervous, don’t be. Today’s gonna be awesome. You’ve worked so hard to make this happen.”

Justof course. Of course he says nothing about himself or the crazy long hours he put into this.

He sets his hand on my shoulder and squeezes it like an older brother would. I bet he learned that from his Prez. Tyrant is fairly young himself, but he has an old soul, and the few times I’ve been at the club or gone to club events, I’ve seen him knock shoulders with his club brothers or give one of those reassuring shoulder clenches more than a few times. I’ve notedhow immediately calming it is when he does it, but Atlas’ touch sends a volley of shivers and fiery electricity through my limbs.

“I- I’m okay. The morning’s just been a little bit shocking.”

I realize something as Atlas smiles at me. There’s nothing sad about it, no shadows in his eyes. Every single time we’ve talked in the past, he’s guarded part of himself. Everyone does that. Everyone has good shields. Well, except me because I’m notoriously open and unfiltered and all over the place. I just never realized how much he intentionally hides. I always felt that it was different between us.

I don’t like that I can’t see any emotion now. Thereshouldbe something there. His smile doesn’t appear any less genuine. Maybe he’s just truly happy. He has a big heart. It’s possible.

“They’re going to be great parents.”

“I’m so glad that they have the club as family. There are lots of other old ladies and guys with kids. She can go to any of them for advice. Not that she needs it. She had to raise my ungrateful ass.”

Atlas snorts. “Not ungrateful.”

“There were many times when I was. Kids are brats. They never appreciate what their parents have done for them.”

He frowns. “I’ve tried to always appreciate my mom and dad.”

I’m the one who fist bumps him in his solid shoulder, right on his worn leather jacket. “You’re the only one then, Mr. Perfect.” He blocks the blow, his hand curling around mine. He drops it easily, stepping away laughing. His arms flex in thejacket, his abs bunch under his tight black t-shirt, and his jeans hug his granite ass. He fucking isperfect. So, so perfect.

My mouth goes dry, and I nearly stroke out on the spot. My heart practically falls out and flops all over the asphalt. I try very hard to block my emotions from my face, but I’ve never been particularly good at that.

Let it be known that before moving to Hart, I made some extremely questionable decisions. Lynette had her hands full with me. It wasn’t just because I had no filter. I was just… wild. Always looking for something. I didn’t even know what it was.

I know now.

Atlas was and will always be my best decision, even if knowing him is also the greatest test I have ever been given.

I never meant to be selfish, but I was. I dated guys who were assholes. I wouldn’t listen to my older sister’s wisdom. I took her for granted so many times. I was irresponsible. I worked since I was sixteen, but I never offered to contribute to the bills. I let Lynette pay for everything, because by then, she was a fancy ass lawyer making the big bucks. I lived in her house but rarely obeyed her rules. I loved her more than anyone in the world, but I did a piss poor job of showing it.

In the last year, I’ve grown the fuck up. It’s been a painful, humbling process. I want to be good to my sister. I never want to hurt another person who loves me again. I want to be the kind of person that others can rely on, who they come to for advice, who they know will be at their side no matter what.

That’s what I want to be for Atlas. The kind of friend we can both be proud to know.

Even if it kills me.

We’re both just standing here staring at each other. I laugh when I realize it. “You’re doing this all for me, including riding in this truck when you hate it so much. That means everything, Atlas. Thank you doesn’t even begin to cover it.”

His cheeks pink slightly, which is utterly adorable and completely disarming. He’s at a loss for words, so I spare him.

“It’s only fifteen more minutes to get the store. We’ll dump the grill out front and then I have something I’ve been dying to show you. Do you want to drive the rest of the way?”

“Nah.” He leans against the truck, though his casual pose is forced. I can tell how tense he is. “It’s all good.”

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