Page 31 of Puppy on a Leash

“Um.” Jaime cocked his head to the side. I couldn’t help but imagine the way the ears in his puppy hood would flop if he was wearing it. “No?”

“So what helps, when you’re feeling that way?”

“Oh my god.” Jaime bounced. “Weren’t youlisteningto what I just said? Last I checked, it’s the one thing you Daddies are unanimously good at?—”

I raised my hand before he could dig his grave any deeper. “You said you don’t want to explain it while you are feeling that way. You aren’t now, so I’m asking.”

Jaime’s nostrils flared. I stood taller, ready for whatever attack he was going to swing my way. I didn’t think I’d warranted it—Ihadlistened, even if he didn’t like the conclusion I drew from the act—but he was speaking from an emotional place. I knew better than to expect logic.

“I don’t always know,” he admitted. Surprisingly, it tracked with everything I was learning about him today. “Being a pup helps. Physical stuff, mostly. I think.”

I hummed. So, he was looking for adrenaline highs, one way or another. That should be easy enough to manage, shouldn’t it?

Great. Now my anger was directed at other imaginary Domms who may not even exist—not a productive use of my time.

“All right.” Staying on topic was ten times harder than I would’ve thought it was. Now I just wanted to ask why he was hesitating on the things that helped him. I wanted to ask about his experiences with other Domms that weren’t his friends, if he actually had any. I wanted to dig into the past and I didn’t even have the present figured out. It wasn’t how I operated—or how Iwantedto operate. “So let’s tackle your other reservations.”

Jaime glanced up. I couldn’t tell what he was feeling at the moment. His face was both too vulnerable and too shielded. It was a strange combination. It shouldn’t make sense, but it did.

“Other reservations?”

I wasn’t looking forward to it, either. Him making me spell it out was not helping. “Whatever’s keeping you from letting go with a Domm. Or with me.”

“I already told you?—”

“You mentioned Sergio.” I winced at the mention of his name. It happened more and more often. I ignored it. “You mentioned twice now your gender, which we’ve already covered. So, is it just Sergio? And if so, how did you justify coming here in the first place?”

It wasn’t a secret that I was persona non grata in his group of friends. It wasn’t something I actively worked to change. Up until recently, the idea of being surrounded by people who were so… out… was unthinkable. Now, I wouldn’t know where to start. I already felt like I was standing on loose terrain half of the time. I didn’t need to put myself in a situation where that would become glaringly obvious.

Loneliness suited me just fine.

“I was angry,” Jaime grumbled. “I’m impulsive when I’m angry.”

I couldn’t say I related to that impulsiveness. It would’ve probably helped me back in the day. Or maybe it would’ve left me in the streets, and I wouldn’t own any of what I had today. Some days I wondered if it had really been worth it. Those were the days I punished myself by going to the club and keeping to the role of DM. If they happened more and more? I pretended not to notice the pattern.

“So what? You need his blessing before you do anything now?”

I didn’t intend to sound so derisive. Sergio had done nothing wrong. He was just the unfortunate reminder of whatI’ddone wrong. The guy didn’t even hold a grudge against me. In a sick way, I believed that was why I’d shown more animosity toward him in our years at the club. It would be easier if he treated me as if I was his number one enemy.

Ever since I’d noticed he’d become a member at the same club I’d helped Erika found, he’d stayed in the background.As much as someone with Sergio’s expansive personality could stay in the background, anyway. He never mentioned knowing me. He never tried to corner me or talk to me. Didn’t spread any rumors about me or make any kind of scene. It had been unnerving.

It still was.

Even after everything came out, and Abel—his very own Daddy—forced him to speak up about what had gone on years before, he hadn’t…

The only thing he’d done was ask me why, and I hadn’t even been able to give him a proper answer that didn’t make me sound like a bigger asshole. And he was still okay with me. He could technically veto me from any event at the club he wanted, but he didn’t. Granted, I hadn’t been attending as much, and certainly not on the days when I knew he was going to be the center of attention.

“I don’t need anyone’s blessing.” Jaime huffed. “Someone else would say you’re trying to keep me angry.”

I snorted. If only he’d known where my thoughts had been. “Believe me, that couldn’t be further from the truth.”

“Oh, yeah?”

The worst thing happened then. Whatever he’d seen in my face, it gave Jaime that confidence he’d shown back in my living room. And he started moving, prowling out from under the duvet, off the bed, and toward me. This time, I didn’t even have a proper wall to support me.

I didn’t have a chance to hide how my knees buckled. I didn’t have a way to run. Any movement from here would paint me as a coward.

I’d never felt as much as one, but feeling and letting others know were completely different games. I had no plans to do the latter anytime soon, but the alternative? No clue. I didn’t know how to not crave the way he moved toward me. I didn’tknow how not to let my eyes dart down his body, registering all the unblemished skin and toned muscle. He wasn’t big or wide shouldered, and he didn’t have any of the traits I was used to when I arranged something with another professor.

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