Jaime raised an eyebrow. He was probably debating the merits of playing along or challenging me. I really hoped he chose the former. Both options had my throat drying up, but one gave me the tiniest ounce of breathing room.
“What do I get if I guess it right?”
I highly doubted he would. For starters, I wasn’t sure of the answer myself. I tried to go through a slideshow of all the guys in his friend group, but just the mental exercise made me freeze.
I shook my head. Getting lost in that kind of loop never led anywhere good. “You get to ask your questions.”
Jaime perked up just as I predicted he would. I didn’t understand why that simple thing was tugging at my heartstrings. “And if I don’t?”
“I ask mine.”
He pretended not to be as excited as he was at the prospect. It was… It wasn’t cute, sweet, or any of the adjectives I usually applied to subs. Jaime wasn’t that, but he was alluring.
“Wait, are we talking just physically or the whole package?”
I frowned. “What do you mean?”
Jaime rolled his eyes. “Like, I can acknowledge León is hot as fuck, physically, but if I could jump anyone in the club, he wouldn’t be my first choice.”
Yeah, I’d witnessed all the tugs-of-war he and Cece pulled on the club’s primal player. It beat me how León had the patience for it, but he got off on that kind of thing. Or something.
“Who would you… jump, as you put it?”
Jaime hummed. “Honestly? Probably Sergio. Maybe Ev. We went shopping with him last weekend, and that ass? Yeah, I’d tap it.”
“So, other subs?” I frowned.
I was not going to think of Ev’s ass, even though I could very easily picture it. He spent a lot of time in the club as of late, and he kept wearing the tightest boxer briefs.
Jaime huffed. “Uh, yeah? I mean, Marga and Jen were together, and subs. I know the hets are weird about that kind of thing, but it can’t be a new concept.”
“They weren’t together,” I replied automatically.
I’d think about the second part of what he said later—when I was alone and I could examine all those pieces without eyes on me. I wastrying, dammit—to deconstruct myself, to be receptive and analyze my privilege, and all those big words.
No one had said all those big words would feel like crawling ants waltzing over my skin. No one had said how isolating andexhaustingit would feel. I knew it was wrong, but sometimes? Secretly? I just wanted to breathe without all this weight on my shoulders.
“They weren’t?” Jaime frowned.
“Not that I know of.” I’d lost count of all the times I’d had to correct other Doms’ assumptions about all the live lesbian porn I must be getting. “They tried kissing once. It went badly.”
It wasn’t something I’d encouraged. I’d had no interest in making them be together.
“Huh.”
Yeah.
I cleared my throat. “So. Are you going to take a guess?”
Jaime scowled. “I can think while I talk about other shit, y’know?”
“Prove it.”
Of course, the boy took his sweet time coming up with an answer. The longer he took, the harder it was to ignore the way my heart thrummed inside my chest.
“Honestly, I know I’m going to get it wrong, but… I’ll go with Danny. You’re a big time Sadist, and Carlos is a hardcore maso, too, but he’s closer to your build. I’ve always thought you’re into size difference.”
My heart beat faster against my rib cage. It was stupid. Jaime was right. He’d gotten it wrong, but he’d gotten other things right.