Yet, I couldn’t say he looked like the subs who got in the same position. He wasn’t quivering or looking like he was about to melt, desperate for any kind of touch or attention. There wasn’t a meaning behind it or a fight that had been given up.
It was just a position.
I was actually intimidated.
Not that I’d ever admit to it, of course.
“Pup?” Tony frowned. Were all of our first times going to feel stilted? And it be my fault? I didn’t know how to feel about it. I didn’t know how to respond when he grabbed me by the collar and pulled me toward him. “Talk to me. Now.”
I gulped.
I knew it wasn’t anger, but there was heat in that look. The kind that left no room for my usual bratting. I hated that it was a turn-on.
“I feel out of my depth.” The words left my mouth in a whoosh of air. “Like, you’re way too cool about all of this, and maybe I am not that cool about it and making it a big thing in my head.”
Tony watched me for a few seconds. I supposed he was waiting to see if there was more I wanted to say, but there wasn’t. Words got trapped in the back of my throat.
“Pup.” He sighed.
I didn’t know how to interpret that sigh, which meant I went back to panicking. This time, it wasn’t my brain dissociating from the fact that my body was too exposed and we didn’t like it. No, this time I was very much aware of where I was and what I was supposed to be doing right this minute. He moved off the bed before I could come up with something viable to do.
I’d panic some more, but he tugged me closer again. My chest hit his torso, drawing the air out of my lungs.
“Yeah?” I tried to sound more assertive, but it came out as a breathy gasp.
Tony shook his head. “I’m pretty sure, any other day, you’d be the one going on and on about how Domming and topping are not synonymous.”
“Well, they’re not,” I scowled.
“So, you are not a Dom because you’ll be topping me, which means you can quit overthinking shit.” Tony ran his thumb over the corner of my lip. “In fact, you’re going to be my leashed pup who’s so submissive he’s just going to be a bundle of nerves pleasuring his Dom the way he’s been told.”
Fuck.
That shouldn’t be?—
Fuck it, it was hot. I was clearly a low-maintenance pup, but the words—and the tone and the molten gaze—did it.
“Yes, Sir.”
It wasn’t the time to tease him with other honorifics when his Dominance had never felt so close to the surface. Tony pushed me up to the tips of my toes and licked my lips before moving again toward the drawers. He kept the leash there.
Breathing got easier after it was clipped to my collar. Yes, it sounded cliché. I didn’t care. Tony must’ve seen the change in my expression too—he didn’t ask or check in any further. He just moved back to a tabletop position. This time, with his hand wrapped around the handle of the leash, I went with him easily, kneeling behind him.
“Can I rim you?”
Words came easier now that he was grounding me. And his ass was right there.
“Not today.”
TWENTY-FIVE
tony
The whine that escaped the pup was more aligned with the kind of reaction I’d expect from Jaime. Part of me still wondered if I should put a stop to this and force them to actually talk. Jaime seemed fine now, though, and it didn’t take a rocket scientist to know a huge reason behind their freakout was on my reluctance to do this sooner.
I grimaced.
Reluctance wasn’t the right word. I’d needed more stability. More confidence in the ground I was walking on.