Page 96 of The Road to Ruined

I follow Sebastian through the club and then out to the parking garage where we take his car back to my hotel. Today, it has Montana license plates; I hadn't noticed that they changed before.

Wordlessly, we exit the vehicle and move through the lobby toward the elevator, and I realize exactly what this is.

He's not just the old man who raised him in isolation throwing me scraps—he's my lure.

The realization hits me like a ton of bricks as the elevator doors open in front of us. He's my lure, and it's just like Hazel said in her interview. They already knew exactly what I'd need to be manipulated because Declan showed them. He's not my boyfriend, he's my fucking lure.

And then they're going to train me the way they trained Sebastian until I'm not a person anymore…to punish Declan and Luca.

I'm still a sucker. Because, once again, I was starved for too long and fell in love with the monster. Even Declan could see it. The sex, the small scraps of affection were enough to sate me. But they messed up because even though the playbook was handed to him, he isn't built for this.

"So, are you staying here or…" I start awkwardly as he follows me into the hotel room. "I'm leaving with my sister at ten tomorrow."

The door latches loudly behind him in the dark room. I reach for the light switch, but he stops me before I can flip it on.

"Teagan, I missed you," he says, turning me to face him. "You're right. I wasn't worried about you—I just wanted to see you."

"Are you lying?" I ask, my eyes welling with tears.

"Why would I lie about that?"

"Because…you're my lure."

Sebastian shakes his head. "No, I'm not, Teagan. You'remylure."

His lips find mine, his tongue twisting with my own while his hands explore my body, grasping my tits through my shirt and growling in frustration, biting my lip before breaking away to rip the shirt over my head, tossing it aside. I watch as he does the same with his own, my eyes running over the hard, scarred body of the man in front of me.

"I love you."

He scoffs, shaking his head, and then shoves me into the wall. "Don't—"

"No," I shout, shoving him back. "Youdon't. Don't hurt me, don't call me names.Don'ttell me that you hate me. I love you. You're not a thing or a monster—not to me. You're a person, and Iloveyou." He stares back at me, silent, and I shrug. "No one ever taught me any better."

"Teagan—"

"I don't expect you to say it back," I tell him. "I know you can't love me, but I can still love you."

He pulls out a knife and takes a step closer.

"What?Nowyou're going to kill me?" I laugh. "You hate the idea that there's someone on this fucking planet who loves you that much?"

He reaches behind me with his other hand and unhooks my bra, using the knife to slide the straps from my shoulders and letting it fall to the ground.

"I'm not going to kill you," he says, his voice calm, steady. "But you said I could do both, remember? Take off your shorts and lie down on the bed."

I do as he asks, this time kicking off my heels before letting my shorts and panties drop to the floor. He watches, still and silent with his arms crossed in front of his bare chest, as I crawl onto the bed. The lights from outside reflect off the blade as I stretch out naked on the bed in front of him, my heart pounding in my chest.

And I stay like that for far too long, his eyes roving over my naked body until, finally, he moves, climbing onto the bed and kneeling between my legs.

My mind takes me back to the time Declan left me bloody on the bathroom floor, and I start to panic. "What are you going to do to me?" I ask.

"Just relax," he says. He plants a fist beside my head, shifting his weight onto it before pressing the tip of the knife to the 'D' on my chest.

"Don't!" I scream. "Sebastian, please, don't…"

"Why not?" he asks through clenched teeth.

"Because…I love them, too. It's all I have left to remind me. Please don't, Sebastian. It'll hurt me too much—you might as well kill me."

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