Page 73 of The Road to Ruined

He's quiet for a minute, thinking it over. "I'll bring you a phone," he says. "Don't take your other one."

"Thank you," I tell him. I wrap my arm around his back and slip my hand inside his shirt, forgetting about the scars until my fingers touch the rough, damaged skin. He flinches, and for a moment I think he's going to pull away, but he doesn't.

"You know what I used to wish for when I was a kid?"

"Hmm?"

"I just wanted people to see me—the way they see Blake, but no one ever did. And then, I wished I could be the thing they were afraid of. Now, I regret becoming just that."

"When I was a child, I wished for death," Sebastian says. "Wishes are for children, regrets are for the dying. You're not dying yet, are you, Teagan?"

"I don't know. What do you think?"

He presses two fingers to my neck, finding my pulse and looking deep into my eyes—straight through me. "Still very much alive," he says.

"Is that your professional opinion,Doctor?"I ask.

"It is," he says. He leans forward, pressing his lips to mine before standing. "I'll bring you the phone tomorrow," he says. "Call me if you need anything."

"Okay," I tell him.

"This will be good for you, Teagan," Sebastian says. "You'll see. Most people like you don't get a chance to exist like this. But you do."

"Yeah…yeah, I guess you're right."

"I know I'm right. Bye, Teagan."

"Bye…"

He turns and heads for his car, and I stay there on the front step until the headlights disappear. Once inside, I pause at the bottom of the staircase, tempted by the laughter from outside tojoin my family. I decide to grab a book and lie across the porch swing behind them, pretending to read while I listen to them.

I don't want to miss out on them, but I don't want to ruin it for them, either.

THIRTEEN

Idrag my pink suitcase through the hotel lobby toward the elevator, a weird sense of déjà vuwashing over me.

The car ride up was uneventful enough. I sat in the front of Austin's with Blake, and three of her other friends, Ashlyn, Lauren, and Sophie, sat in the back.

Sophie is going to be her maid of honor. That was supposed to be me.

At least I'm getting a room to myself.

"Okay, so we are on the seventeenth floor…" Sophie says, hitting the elevator button.

"Can you hit thirty for me?" I ask.

"Oh…sure."

She exchanges a look with Ashlyn that I'm pretty sure says,At least she's staying far away from us.

"So, we're going to get changed and meet down in the lobby at seven," Blake tells me. Her friends step out of the elevator, and she holds the door open while she finishes. "Then, we have reservations at Yellowtail and a table with bottle service at a club back at our hotel. I'm in room 1724 if you need me, Teag. Okay?"

"Okay," I tell her. "I love you, Blake. I'm glad you're happy."

She smiles. "Thanks, Teag. I love you, too. And you'll be happy soon, too."

She steps out of the elevator, allowing the door to close, and it takes me up to the thirtieth floor.

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