Page 129 of The Road to Ruined

"You're still coming, aren't you? I can feel it."

"It just feels so good…" I whimper."Master."

Sebastian groans, sinking his teeth into my chest as he thrusts into me.

"Ahh!" I scream through clenched teeth, wriggling my hips and squirming against his hold.

My blood drips from his lips when he looks up at me.

"Does that hurt?"

"Yes…fuck."

"Doesn't it feel better when it hurts?"

"Y-yes…"

He runs his tongue over the wound and then sinks his teeth into my shoulder. I scream again, writhing beneath him with my arms still pinned tightly at my sides.

"Ugh, fuck. I'm going to miss the way you squirm on my cock, little monster. Fuck…"

His cock jerks inside me and he comes like that—with his teeth digging hard into my flesh, sucking my blood.

I taste it when he kisses me and then, with his lips against mine, he whispers, "I love you, Teagan."

I swallow hard. "You do?"

"Yeah, I do. I know what I am. I know I don't deserve to be loved by you, not even for a minute. And when I'm sitting alone in dark, lifeless houses wishing I'd done things differently, I don't want this—not telling you and not touching you when I wanted to—to be one of those things. I'm going to miss you until the day I die, Teagan. I'll love you that long, too—whether it's five days or fifty years from now. Wherever you are…you should know that."

"I love you, too. I'll miss you, too. You can come—"

"No, I can't. I told you—there are so many reasons why I can't. But not wanting you and not loving you isn't one of them."

He kisses me again, rolls to the side of me, and then says, "Get dressed. We need to go; they're going to start wondering if I've changed my mind soon."

"Okay."

I climb into the back seat and open the suitcase, and Sebastian adjusts his seat and puts the car in drive. He pulls away from the hotel with the headlights turned off while I change into a tank top and a pair of jean shorts.

Once we get away from the beachfront hotels, he turns the headlights on, and I climb into the front seat beside him. He rests a hand on my thigh, and I lean against his arm, tears rolling down my cheeks.

"Don't cry, Teagan. This is what you wanted, right?"

"Yeah, but—"

"No one gets everything they want, little monster."

"I know that," I tell him, sobbing. "But I hate this."

And I'm not stupid—I know I can'tlivewith Sebastian. And I'm not willing to give them up, either. Luca loves me, too—he needs me back. And IneedDeclan. He's my port in the storm.

That doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. We don't get to decide what hurts us.

He leans over and kisses the top of my head.

Panic sets in once we turn down an old dirt road winding through dense forest. I haven't had the best luck with old dirt roads like this one. My pulse races; my breath comes short.

"It'll be okay," Sebastian says. "It's not going to be like last time."

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