Page 125 of Pretty Poisoned

"It's not safe for her to say shit like that, Teagan, if that makes you feel any better. You remember the house we took you to in the mountains? Those people won't allow it. There will be consequences. It's better if she says she was on drugs and lost her fucking mind—for everyone. And for what it's worth, Iamsorry. I was really fucked up, and I guess I just…snapped. I thought I could make her change her mind."

"I don't care about her," I tell him.

And god, it hurts to say that aloud.

I have this voice in my head that, anytime someone starts in on me about how I'm messed up or how I'm not normal, reminds me that I'm not a bad person. And as long as I'm not abadperson—as long as I'm not hurting anyone—it shouldn't matter what I do.

I'm having a hard time reconciling that with how I feel now.

"I still love you, Luca. I think…I think I'm really fucked up. Most of the time, I can ignore it. I'm having a hard time ignoring it right now."

I feel it again—that tightening in my chest, the stinging behind my eyes. I'm going to fucking cry—again. Fuck.

"What are you talking about? There's nothing wrong with you, Teagan."

"I hate crying," I say. "It fucking hurts—it physically fucking hurts like I'm having a fucking heart attack—and youalwaysmake me cry. I never used to cry."

"Well, that's a good thing," Luca says. "You have to fucking care about something to cry. You know what I did after you left this morning? I cried like a fucking baby, just like I told you I would."

"No, you didn't."

"You know why it hurts you like that?"

I shake my head.

"Because you're always fighting it—it's unnatural. It's okay to cry, Teagan."

"On my life, he did cry," Declan says. "I saw it."

I laugh through my tears.

"Hey…" Declan sits on the coffee table across from me and takes my hand. "You'll be okay, Teagan; I promise. You'll always have a family; I'll always take care of you. And Luca, too." He cradles my face in his hands and wipes under my eyes with his thumbs. His eyes soften as they do sometimes, searching my own. "I…I'll talk to you later."

He kisses me on the mouth, his lips lingering against mine for seconds before he pulls away.

"Bye, kitten."

"Bye."

My phone buzzes in my pocket as I watch him leave.

BLAKELY Just got home. I want you to know that I'm blocking your number. I can't take this anymore.

I sigh and drop it on the couch beside me.

"So, I guess I'm probably not invited to the wedding anymore," Luca says.

"I'm not invited to the wedding anymore, either."

"I'm sorry," he says. "I wish I was someone you could bring to a wedding and take home to meet your mom."

"Do you want to know why I said that earlier—about being fucked up?"

He nods. "Yeah."

"Because I think you were right this morning. I think I was jealous. I don't think I'm the kind of girl you can take home to meet your mom. I think I'm the kind you tie up in the basement."

He smiles. "I'm okay with that. I don't have a mom, but I do have a basement."

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