Page 6 of Fluffed and Folded

“Wow,” Eli muttered softly, face flushing with anger. “Wow, you really think you are…” and then he felt it, the ominous trail of drool now running from his lip to his chin. His hand shot up, trying to sop the liquid and control the damage. Ever since he got braces, it was as if his lip muscles went into revolt and stopped behaving. He lisped and drooled a little now.I’m a catch in all the ways, ladies,his traitor brain supplied, instead of a reasonable explanation for why he had reverted to babyhood all of a sudden. Did they have teething rings for adults? Might be time to Google.

“It’s the braces,” he mumbled. “Sorry. They make me do things.”

For the first time—ever—Darby regarded him with something like amusement, seeming to actually see him for the first time in two years. “What kind of things?”

“Unspeakable things. Mostly because I’ll drool if I say them,” he said and smiled a little when she snorted a laugh. After tossing him one more amused glance, she shook her head and strode from the room.

Eli’s eyes trailed after her. He wasn’t one of those guys, not at all. But she sure was pretty.

CHAPTER 4

“I’ll have the tomahawk.”

Eli stared at his date as she closed her menu and handed it to the waiter. The tomahawk steak was the largest meat selection and the price was listed as “market,” which Eli took to mean probably cost more than the pants he was wearing, and possibly more than all the pants in his closet.

“Are you a carnivore?” he asked lightly, trying not to sound judgmental or horrified. Would he have to watch this woman rip meat apart with her bare hands, like a hyena? And was it wrong that he was vaguely turned on by that? Eli already felt a little betrayed by her stunning beauty. He felt like he was being reverse catfished. He had expected someone average, hoped for someone cute, and instead got this lovely creature, who looked like she’d been formed by scientists trying to hallmark every standard of modern beauty. So far Eli hadn’t been able to find a flaw, and that made him nervous. Of course he was only going by looks. They met at the restaurant and had barely sat or spoken hello when she ordered half a cow.

“No,” she said, holding his gaze like an unblinking challenge.

“Okay,” he drawled, not certain how else to respond. Were they about to arm wrestle? It felt like it. Worse, Eli wasn’t certainhe’d win. Her perfectly sculpted biceps assured him she worked out.

“I know my worth,” Plushy declared.

Her name was Plushy. He knew that going into it, but assumed it was a nickname. It was not. Plushy the Tomahawk Devouring Lady. It sounded like a Stephen King novel, much like his life at the moment.

Before he could think up a response, Plushy leaned forward and spoke again. “How much do you make?”

Caught off guard by her sheer pluck and ill manners, Eli froze. “Er…”

“Because I won’t accept less than seven figures.”

“Accept less than seven figures for what? Are we entering into a publishing contract?” Eli said with a little chuckle that fell flat.

“I expect a man to make a certain amount, to finance all this,” she waved a hand, displaying her glorious face.

“Oh,” Eli drawled, as reality began to dawn. This wasn’t going well, and would not garner a second date. The most he could salvage at this point was a learning experience, a tutorial on what not to do next time. With that settled, he leaned back and determined to find enjoyment where he could, especially because he was about to pay a few hundred for the experience. “Are you in finance?”

Now it was her turn to blink, confused. “No.”

“What do you do?”

“I work atSephorapart time,” she said.

“Are you going to school?”

She blinked again. “No, why?”

“Usually when I encounter someone working part time, it’s because they’re also going to school, preparing for their future career.”

“I am preparing for my future career,” she assured him.

“Oh. As what?”

“A housewife.” She said it so deadpan, it left Eli nowhere to go.

“Oh, okay,” he said. “It must be difficult to meet eligible men who live up to your standards. I mean, seven figures, that’s a lot.”

She nodded. “You have no idea. It’s a pain, honestly. But I won’t settle. I know my worth.”

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