Page 42 of How to Accidentally Become the Devil

Anxiously I pace Mom’s room waiting for Georgym to get back with my dad. Not that he’s been gone long, but I’m worried. Worried that mom won’t wake up, that dad won’t come, that the gemstone won’t work. It doesn’t help that there’s this annoying tugging in my chest. It’s growing stronger and stronger by the second and I feel like I’m about to lose my damn mind. My grandfather, on the other hand, is sitting on the couch perfectly relaxed.

“How are you so calm right now?” I growl.

He lazily lifts a shoulder. “I don’t know. Probably because for the first timeeverI don’t feel the call of Hell. There’s no tug of demons needing my assistance, no burning need to go somewhere, help someone, do something. It’s peaceful.”

“Is that what this feeling is? Someone needs me?”

“Well, I don’t know what you’re feeling, but probably. You’re being called. You don’t have to answer every call, but if you can, it’s good to make an appearance. Sometimes that’s all it takes.”

“Make an appearance,” she huffs. “I don’t even know where I’m supposed to be going.”

“When has that stopped you?” Oz asks as he quirks his brow and smirks at me.

Damn these men and their logic and their sexy smirks.

“Just clear your mind. Trust your magic to take you where you’re needed,” Luc says.

Just clear my mind. Okay. I can do that.

Closing my eyes, I take slow, measured breaths until my brain latches on to the feeling deep in my chest. One second I’m in Mom’s room, the next I’m in the soul sorting room. Two demons are arguing over a book.

“He clearly belongs in greed, Haygelica,” one says with an attitude that makes it clear she not only thinks she’s right but also thinks she is better than the demon opposite her.

“That’s notgreedCassinda. That’s gluttony,” the other scoffs, rolling her eyes.

“Ladies. What seems to be the problem here?”

They both freeze and look at me.

“Who are you? How’d you get in here?” the demon with an attitude problem demands.

“Cassinda! Do you know who thatis? For the love of Hell, don’t talk to her like that!” the other demon, Haygelica I think, scolds her coworker.

“Why? Who isshe?”

“Sheis the new devil,” I answer before Haygelica can respond. “One of you called me here. I’m assuming because of this book. Give it to me.” I hold my hand out and Haygelica hands me the book they were arguing over.

Wonder how she knew who I was?

I flip through the book, quickly coming to a decision. “She’s right. It’s gluttony. I’ll take it.”

Their heads bow and they do that weird arm crossing thing Georgym did just before I pop out of there.

Man, I hope that doesn’t become a thing.

When I get to the Gluttony office, I look through the book again, this time seeing the souls’ misdeeds. They were gluttonous alright, but only because they were a competitive eater.

Is that really worth an afterlife of torture?

The book changes, showing me all the good he did in his life. The competitive eating was the only sin the book could pick up on. I mean, it had to have been pretty serious for him to end up here, but he wasn’tthatbad. Heck I probably did worse when I was “human”.

I said I wanted to change things when I came into power. Well, here’s my chance. This soul doesn’t deserve to stay here for all eternity. Maybe I can use his torture to convince him to repent. The minute I think of his punishment, the book bursts into flames.

Popping into the torture room assigned to the gluttonous soul I now know was called Harold, I can see that the punishment I decided on is already beginning. Harold sits behind a long table absolutely groaning with the amount of hotdogs atop it. He is flanked on either side by a competitor that will always be just one hotdog ahead of him.

I’m slightly disgusted by the sight of this man shoveling hotdogs into his face at a rate that makes me surprised he didn’t end up here sooner. In the back corner of the room, a door I hadn’t noticed before opens and a long line of nuns fully dressed in habits all wielding a ruler or wooden spoon file in. They begin their slow walk around the table and each time one of them passes Harold they whack him in the back of the head with whatever they happen to be carrying.

“Repent.” The nuns chant in unison after each whack.Whack,repent,whack,repent, the circle goes round and round and Harold begins to sob.

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