Page 82 of Out of the Dark

"Yes, Mr. Bossy pants," I tease.

He mutters under his breath, "Not yet I’m not," and Dani and Shane groan simultaneously while I laugh.

We drive off, and I watch as my too-familiar town disappears behind us. I didn’t realize how much stress I had been carrying until right now, when all those worries disappear. I’ll no longer have the constant fear of being found, and I don’t have to worry about my sister’s well-being because she’s right here next to me.

As time passes, the collective energy in the car seems to relax, and the heavy silence turns into lighthearted conversation. Grace asks questions about life outside the community, and we all answer about what life is like in the city. It feels weird that I was in her position only six months ago.

But I’m so excited for her to experience a life where she’s free to be herself. She’ll likely have to adjust in the same way I did, but the discomfort of adjusting is nothing compared to the freedom it allows.

The sun is low in the sky by the time we make it back to Mark’s. Grace has been staring in awe at the skyscrapers as we drive through the city, her expression reflecting how I felt six months ago when I experienced Chicago for the first time. It’s a magical feeling to have so much freedom and potential right in front of you.

Once Mark is parked, we all exit the car and I realize that I hadn’t even asked Mark if it was okay for Grace to stay here as well. I circle the car and pull him aside while the others pull Grace’s bags from the trunk.

"Is it okay if she stays here?" I whisper. "I’ll work onfinding an apartment for her—or us" I add, not sure quite where we stand with the whole relationship thing. "I just don’t want to impose, and I know you didn’t expect to have a seventeen-year-old girl coming home with me too."

"Claire." Mark looks at me as if I just said the most ridiculous thing in the world. "She’s your sister. Of course she’s welcome here. If you’re okay with it, she can take your room and you can share mine. But if you need some space from me right now, I also understand that."

I shake my head. "I don’t. As long as you promise to be honest with me about your feelings and your fears so we can work through them together."

Mark takes a step closer to me and brushes my hair back behind my shoulder. "I promise I will. I know I hurt you, and I don’t want to minimize that by pretending it never happened. When I thought you had left because of me, I couldn’t fucking breathe. I love you, Claire. You’ve brought a light to my life that I didn’t even realize was missing. I love you, and I’m going to take advantage of every opportunity I get to tell you that from now on."

My heart cracks, opening up to him entirely. The vulnerability on his face shows me that he means every word he says. "I love you too." It’s all I can think to say; I’m at a loss for words. The last tiny bit of stress I’d been holding onto dissipates.

"Are you two lovebirds coming in, or should we go on so you guys can make out in the parking garage?" Dani asks from the other side of the car.

Mark grins. "We’re coming. There are much more comfortable places to make out inside."

Dani rolls her eyes but smiles as they head toward the door, and I don’t miss the shocked expression on my sister’sface. Oops. It’s definitely going to be an adjustment for her being here, but I have a feeling she’ll adjust quickly, especially with me there for her to lean on.

The five of us make our way inside, and I’m pretty sure Grace might be in shock as I show her around the apartment.

"This whole room is mine?" she asks as I show her the bedroom I’ve been living in.

I smile and squeeze my arm around her shoulders. I remember how surreal this all feels. "Yes, as soon as I clear my stuff out, it’s all yours."

After gingerly setting her bags on the floor along the wall, she sits down on the edge of the bed and looks up at me. "Thank you for bringing me with you. I wouldn’t have been able to handle staying back there without you."

"Thank you for coming with me. Don’t tell the others, but you’re my favorite sibling anyway." I wink at her, and we both laugh.

Mark and I make quick work of moving my belongings into his—our—bedroom, and I give Grace some space to unpack her things after checking in on her a few times.

And just like that, we’re back to normal. Better than normal, actually. Shane and Dani stick around for another hour, and once the door clicks shut behind them, Mark looks over at me.

"I have a confession."

I follow him to the couch and sink down onto his lap. "What’s that?"

"I read your journal. Well, some of it. When I came home looking for you, I saw it open on your bed, and when I realized you weren’t coming back, I read it hoping to find some clues about where you went."

Discomfort rolls through me at the thought of Markreading my innermost thoughts and feelings, but I can’t blame him. "It’s okay. I’m so glad you found me."

"Me too. And since I learned so much about you, I think it’s time I return the favor."

He traces invisible patterns on my thigh as he explains his past to me—how his mother abandoned him when he was a baby, how his father was an alcoholic who resented being left with Mark and therefore treated him like a burden, and how Shane and his parents were the only ones who treated him like a person worthy of love. He’s spent a lifetime guarding his heart because he thought he was unworthy of love, that regardless of how much someone is supposed to love you, they’ll leave.

When he finishes his story, he doesn’t meet my eyes. This admission was difficult for him, and it’s clear that this is the first time he’s spoken about it.

I squeeze his hand and say, "Thank you for telling me that. And I want you to know, I’ll always be here, and I’ll spend a lifetime proving it."

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