This is why I didn’t want to get involved. This feeling, this mess, this… whatever the hell it is, isn’t worth it. But even as I tell myself that, I know I’m lying. Because if I had the chance to go back, to undo meeting her, I wouldn’t.
I’m screwed, and I know it. But for now, all I can do is hold on to what’s left of my self-control and hope like hell it’s enough to keep me from falling any further.
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
CLAIRE
The restaurant is bustling with the brunch crowd as I step inside, where the aroma of freshly brewed coffee and baked goods fills the air. I spot Dani waving at me from a table in the corner with Sarah and Audrey already seated beside her. Making my way over, I try to ignore the flutter of nerves in my stomach. I've never been great with new social situations, but I remind myself I’ve met these ladies already, and they were perfectly friendly before.
"Hey, Claire!" Dani stands and pulls me into a side hug when I approach the table. "You remember Sarah and Audrey from the New Year’s party, right?"
I nod, smiling at the two women. "Of course. It's great to see you both again."
Sarah smiles back, her short blonde hair swishing over the tops of her shoulders. She has an air of elegance about her, a confidence that comes with age and experience.Audrey, on the other hand, has a mischievous glint in her eye, her purple hair pulled back in a messy ponytail.
We settle in, and the conversation immediately resumes. "So, Dani," Sarah says, turning her attention to her friend. "You were saying about your trip?"
"Oh, it was amazing. We had such a great time, and the wedding planning is finally coming together. It's a lot of work, but it'll be worth it in the end. And I can’t exactly complain about getting to go to Hawaii," she laughs.
Audrey chimes in, looking between Dani and myself. "So, any juicy details from the vacation? Anything interesting happen?" Since she had video called Dani while we were on the beach, she knows I was there, and I can only imagine she’s asking more about me than Dani.
Dani smirks, her gaze flicking to me. "That’s not my question to answer."
Audrey’s attention zeros in on me as she prompts, "Well? Anything happen between you and Mark? Don’t think I didn’t notice how cozy you were getting at the end of the New Year’s party." She winks, and all eyes turn to me.
My cheeks flush at the mention of Mark's name, the memories of everything that’s happened over the past few weeks coming back full-force. I’m not sure how to respond, so I just smile and shrug, trying to play it cool.
"Oh, come on," Sarah teases, joining in on the fun. "You gotta give ussomething."
But what do I tell them? That we’re together but not actuallytogether? I take a sip of the mimosa Dani had offered me from the pitcher and say, "Well, I mean, we did get a bit closer. But it's not like we're dating or anything serious."
Audrey leans in, her voice lowering to a conspiratorial whisper. "So, have you slept with him yet?"
I swallow wrong and cough hard, making a total fool of myself.
Dani giggles, coming to my rescue even though I can tell she’s just as curious. "Leave her alone, you two. I like her, so don't scare her off."
Sarah smiles apologetically. "Sorry, Claire. We can be a bit much sometimes. But seriously, if you ever need to talk or have questions about anything, we're here for you. I know we started to get into some heavier topics at the New Year’s party."
"Thanks, I appreciate that."
Audrey, clearly the most curious of the group, asks me, "So, have you been to the club yet?"
"No, not yet. I don’t know if we will…"
Sarah says, "Well I won’t prod by asking what sort of activities you and Mark engage in, but if they’re relevant to what goes on at the club, youtotallyhave to go."
The idea is both terrifying and exhilarating. It’s not like I haven’t wondered what it would be like, after all, and I trust Mark to take care of me in a place like that. "I don't know," I say. "I have final exams coming up in a few weeks. I should really be focusing on studying." It’s a terrible excuse, and they immediately call me out.
Dani speaks first, saying, "You can't study all the time, Claire. You need to have some fun too. And trust me, the club isdefinitelyfun. If it’s something you’re interested in, you should just look into it, or ask Mark about it."
The other ladies nod in enthusiastic agreement.
I laugh and put my hands up in mock surrender. "Alright, alright. I'll think about it."
Dani turns her attention away from me and to Sarah. "Speaking of the club, I haven't seen you and Quentin there in a while. What's up with that?"
Sarah shrugs, her eyes falling to the table as she fiddles with the wrapped silverware. "Oh, you know. Just been busy with work and getting the youngest kid ready for college and stuff. Haven't really felt like going out."