Page 47 of Out of the Dark

"Absolutely." Now more than ever, I’m grateful for his company, even despite his antics. I’m enjoying my time alone with Claire more than I should, and even though we’ve spent plenty of time together over the past couple months, it feels different here. There’s an air of excitement and possibility that always seems to accompany a vacation. But even knowing that, I can’t fight the heat humming through my veins when she turns her sweet smile on me from across the room.

Any hope I might have had of resisting temptation and looking at Claire in a platonic light has gone out the fucking window.

First, her excited squeals and wide eyes as we came into sight of the beach were fucking adorable. Her smile wasinfectious as she marveled at the ocean and how it was even more beautiful up close.

But when we settled in our spot, claiming four of the reclining plastic chairs in the private beach area, she had timidly looked around before shedding the sundress she wore, and I couldn’t keep my jaw from falling to the floor.

My sweet, shy Claire now stands in front of me wearing a sexy red swimsuit that criss-crosses over her skin, and dear God, her body is fuckingperfect. Not to mention, the layers of red fabric crossing over each other immediately remind me of the ropes in Shibari demonstrations I watch at the club.

It takes me a few seconds to realize just how much I’m staring, made evident by Dani clearing her throat and smirking at me when my eyes dart to her. Honestly, I don’t even care. How could Inotlook at Claire when she’s the sexiest fucking thing I’ve ever laid eyes on? I thought her outfit on New Year’s Eve was hot, but this…

"Do you like Claire’s new swimsuit? I told her it was perfect on her," Dani asks me, her tone taunting. I should’ve known this was her doing.

Like a blubbering idiot, I can barely get words out. "I, um, yeah. It looks great." Seriously, what’s wrong with me? It’s not like I don’t see half-dressed (or entirely naked) women on a regular basis when I go to the club.

"Thanks," Claire says in response to my stuttered compliment. She tugs at one of the straps on her shoulder like it’s suddenly uncomfortable, her shyness resurfacing.

I want to say something to ease her nerves, but my brain is short-circuiting. Every inch of her—every curve, every freckle—is etched into my mind now, and I can’t seem to get a grip on myself.

Dani gives me a knowing look, her smirk widening as sheleans back in her chair. "See? Told you it’d be a hit," she says to Claire.

"Okay, okay," Claire mutters, waving Dani off with a small laugh. She grabs a towel and spreads it out over her chair. "I’m going to get some sun." Her eyes flick to mine for the briefest moment.

Dani and Shane start chatting about something—plans for dinner, maybe—but I can barely hear them. My attention is glued to Claire as she stretches out on the beach chair, leaning back and tipping her face toward the sun. The way the light hits her, catching on her golden hair and glinting off the sheen of sunscreen on her skin, is mesmerizing.

I force myself to look away, shifting in my chair and grabbing a water bottle to give my hands something to do. This is ridiculous. I’m ridiculous. Claire deserves better than to be ogled like this, especially by someone like me.

But even as I try to focus on anything else—the waves crashing on the shore, a couple of kids building a sandcastle in the distance—my eyes keep drifting back to her. She looks so free, so happy, and it hits me how much she’s changed since the day I first saw her. Back then, she was like a shadow of herself, skittish and silent, afraid to take up space or make herself heard. Now she’s laughing, joking with Dani, and stretching out on the beach like she belongs here.

And she does belong here. I’ve never seen anyone more beautiful in my life.

I get up abruptly, the need to move overwhelming. "I’m going for a swim," I announce, not waiting for a response before striding toward the water.

The cool waves are a shock to my overheated skin, and I dive in headfirst once I’ve walked in deep enough to do so, hoping the cool water will knock some sense into me. When Iresurface, I see Shane jogging toward the shoreline to join me, and right behind him, the women are whispering to each other and giggling while darting frequent glances in our direction.

Claire sits cross-legged on her chair now, her head tilted slightly as she follows my movements and a smile curving her lips. Even from this distance, I can see the happiness glowing in her expression.

It’s like the sun itself just flared in my chest.

Somehow over the course of a few months, she’s become everything I never knew I needed. I used to cherish my alone time, my lack of attachments, but now I can’t possibly imagine not having Claire around.

But I’ll never admit that to anyone but myself. No matter how much I care for her, she has such a full life ahead of her. I think about all the life I’ve lived since I was her age, and it feels like such a significant amount of time. The experiences I’ve had between my early twenties to my almost-forties have shaped who I am—all the joy and pain, the love and loss, the millions of decisions for better or worse. I can’t take that away from her.

But maybe I can give her some of those experiences before she goes off into the limitless world on her own…

Shane splashes me, rousing me from my daydreams of just exactly what I could show Claire.

"You’re staring," he says matter-of-factly.

I splash him back, and he laughs.

We stay in the water for a while, mostly chatting about our mornings, and the conversation is thankfully free from insinuations about Claire and me since I steer it toward wedding details. I’ve got enough going on in my head; I don’t need more of Shane’s taunting.

When we finally decide our wrinkled skin is a goodindicator to get out of the water, we head back to where the girls are sitting with their chairs pushed together. Dani has her phone in front of them, and as I get closer, I hear a woman’s voice on the other end. It sounds familiar, and it’s not until I sit down and see a flash of purple hair on the screen that I see it’s Audrey. I had met her once or twice before the New Year’s party, and she seemed nice, if not a little feisty.

"So, we were totally flirting and he told me to get on my knees for him, soobviously—" Audrey draws out the last word as if it’s the most evident thing in the world "—I said ‘make me,’ because I’m not about to go easy on him just because he’s hot. He has to earn it, ya know?"

Dani laughs, and I don’t know if Claire’s pink cheeks are due to her embarrassment with sex talk or simply too much sun, but regardless, Audrey has her enraptured with the story. "So what he do?" Dani prompts.

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