Page 36 of Wonderstruck

My head snapped up. “I was perfectlyfine dealing with him on my own—"

“Why are you here?” he asked, his voicelow and unwavering like he’d given up guessing. “You avoided this place like you’d catch something from it last year. Now you’re up there dancing?” his head shook. “Don’t get me wrong you looked happy, andIwas happy to see you actually smiling…” His voice softened, the corners of his mouth lifting like he was picturing me, before he shook his head. “I just don’t get why.”

I laughed, only slightly. “Well it’s a goodthing it’s not for you to get.” I gotcaught in his stare for a moment, feeling my body slip beneath me until I caught myself. My arms flailed under him. “And if were talking about things that don't make sense, I don’t get why you suddenly care so much?”

Quick as anything, he nodded his chin at me before bitinghis bottom lip, my eyes falling south tosee it turning red. “I told you before that I felt bad for how we left things last year, how I went about things. And I’m trying to make things right, for the group, for us, for you…” His head hung low for a second, but I could still make out his heaving chest, his heavy breaths that hit my cold hands. “Why are you here, Rory?” As my name left his lips, he looked back at me.

I hadn’t realised how crazy my beinghere had sounded until he said that. I’dexhausted every excuse just so I didn’t haveto come to these games last year, knowing that I felt safer tucked up in my dorm, reading about love stories instead of facing the disaster that was my own.

But what he’d said… about doing this forthe others, for us… I hated, more than anything, that I saw some sense in it. If I was truly going to be honest with myself now, truly be happy again, would diving the group because I couldn't get over that he didn't like me help that?

No, you idiot, so why are you doing it?

Maybe I could forgive, and be civil, butforget? I didn’t think that was possible,not right now.

But being honest with him was a start.

I looked back up to find his eyes holdingmine, something about it steadying me enough to take a breath and whisper, “I need the money for skating lessons.”

Confusion swirled in his stare. “Skating…” I could practically see the cogs turning in his mind. "You're skating again?"

I nodded, not knowing when I hadgotten so comfortable with him standing over me. “I'm trying to." Another breath soothed me, enough that I didn’tthink before looking up at him and letting the words fall out. “After you left me last week, I decided that I wanted to be happy again, and maybe that meant finally getting back out onto the ice. But it’s not as easy as simply going to a rink full of people and joining in, I need space.”

“I get that.” He whispered instantly, nothaving to, but I liked that he did.

I dropped his gaze, focusing on my shaky hands. “So, I eventually found out that one ofmy mom’s old skaters was teachingclasses in the city, so I asked her if I could use the rink, which I could, so long as I paid for the classes. But even with a discount her lessons are still going to cost me something if I want that moment, just me and the rink. So I—”

“Took the cheerleading position.”

“Thepaidcheerleading position.” Another tiny smile bloomed across my mouth as I lifted my head back to face his. “But I thought it also couldn’t hurt to see how I felt performing again, with eyes on me.”

His smirk tilted higher. “And how did it feel?”

I glanced just past his shoulder, already smiling at the memory—me, dancing like I actually knew what I was doing, like no one was watching. Which, for a few glorious minutes, I’d somehow believed. “Amazing,” I said, sighing the word like it still lived in my chest.

Apparently, so did my leg, because it brushed against his. Accidentally. Just a tiny graze. But we both jumped like we’d touched an electric fence.

I cleared my throat, very casually pretending thathadn’tjust happened. “And then,” I added, “one of the reasons I’ve been avoiding that place decided to run into me. So, as great as the dancing was, I don't know whether the run-in's with Ryan or…”

I trailed off, eyes lifting to his. I didn’t say the name. I didn’t have to.

Hissmile faltered, just slightly. A flush crept into his cheeks, and I knew he knew.

I stood a little straighter, peeling away from the wall. “I don’t know,” I said, shrugging. “Maybe that fear wins next week. Maybe it doesn’t.”

I had enough money for a class with Aspen, but what would happen if I lovedit? What would happen if all I wanted to do was skate under her wing? I’d have to stay here, dancing for Ryan and his hidden agendas. I bet he loved it. I bet he got some sort of sick thrill out of watching me second guess whether he’d changed—

“I have an idea.” Finn blurted, earningback my vacant stare.

“What?” The wordstumbled out of my mouth.

His smile was giddy, the kind I'd barely had a chance to memorise. “A proposition really,something that will help both of us.”

It was my turn to knit my brows. “Whaton earth do you need help with?”

He stood taller, squared his shouldersand sighed. “Tu pues le français etBurton va te décapiter si tu ne te tonifies pas le cul.”

Before I could let effects of Finn speaking french take over my thoughts, I narrowed my eyes. “You reek at Frenchand Burton’s gonnabeheadyou if youdon’t tone up your ass?”

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