Page 95 of Wonderstruck

His breath hitched, his eyes falling to wheremy hand still held his. “You won’t want to stick around once you do.”

“That’s not your call to make.” My fingerstightened. “I’m here, Finn. You don’t get to push me away just because you’re scared.”

His shoulders sagged, the fight draining out ofhim. “You don’t deserve this.”

“Maybe not,” I said, my voice a whisper. “ButI want it anyway. I want you.”

Thetruth was out before I could steal it back. But some part of me wanted to think that healready knew. And from the way he just stared at me, not backing up, not bolting out the door, I had every intention to believe I was right.

He let out a breath, a breeze against my hotcheeks, as his fingers threaded through mine like he was holding on for dear life.

“My dad.” His voice cracked, and he finallylooked at me, the raw honesty in his gaze nearly knocking the breath out of me. “Mine and Daisy’s. He’s… he’s a mess.”His head sank, but all I did was skate my thumb over the back of his hand. Reassuring him that I was still here.

“We hate talking about it, but sometimes all Iwant to do is scream from the rooftops that he’s the reason behind everything. He’s why I’m like this.” He shook his head, braving my stare. “He’s been a mess ever since our mom died. He ran to alcohol to cope and has been absent since we were twelve. And I hate him for it. But I’m scared… I’m scared I’m going to be like him. That one day, I’ll lose someone, and it’ll break me, and I’ll turn into this… this ghost of a person who can’t even—”

“You’re not him,” I interrupted, knowingenough that the pieces were finally clicking. The sky was finally clearing. “Finn, you’re not your dad.”

“You don’t know that.” His voice was barely awhisper.

“Yes, I do,” I said, my heart hammering in mychest. “Okay, I don’t know him. But from what you just said you don’t even sound related. Because you’re here. You care. And you’re not hidingbehind some bottle like he did. You’re showing up, Finn. Even when it’s hard.”

“No, I’m not. I’ve not fucking spoke to yousince the hospital.”

I gripped his hand. “And you’ve just told mewhy. Clearly, there’s a part of you that wants to change.”

For a moment, neither of us spoke. The party noise, the giggles, blurred into the background, leaving just the two of us in the stillness of the stairwell. His hand, the one holding the drink, trembled slightly.

“Look at me,” I told him, and sure enough, asecond later his eyes were holding mine. I didn’t waste a second before lifting my hand, cupping his jaw like it could protect him from everything he was afraid of. “Do me a favour, and remember this the next time you think that pushing me away is going to work.”

“Remember what—”

And then I kissed him.

It wasn’t planned; it wasn’t even something Ithought about. I just leaned forward, lowering his lips onto mine, pouring everything I couldn’t say into that one, fleeting moment.

Once I felt him settle, I let myself sink intoevery part of it. My stomach hollowed as I felt his lips move against mine, caressing me with a gentle power that was making me dizzy. The clink of his glass on the stairs was the only warning I had before his hands were in my hair, settling at the base of my neck.

I gave into that pull, leaning into the kiss,leaning against his chest. It was everything I hadn’t let myself imagine, scared of the moment he didn’t need me any more and we went back to being barely friends.But the way he stole the command from me,parting my lips with his tongue, made me question whether we were ever barely friends, but two people who were scared to admit how they really felt in case this all fell apart.

A tiny whimper slipped through the cracks,which only made Finn pull me closer. My hands fell to his thighs, purely to steady myself as he swapped my hair for the small of my back, like he knew I was moments away from passing out and needed him to be my anchor.

He kissed me harder, and I didn’t think twicebefore swiping my tongue over his, earning me a groan that would have made my eyes roll back if they weren’t already closed.

A sharp chorus of laughter was the only thingthat broke up the kiss.My heart plummeted to my toes as I pulledaway, as did Finn, our heads spinning to the light spilling through the hallways from the kitchen. But thankfully it was just the light, and nothing else.

As I turned my head back to Finn, catching the breaths he’d stolen, I found his eyes already on me.

My eyes fell back to his lips, all red and wet and swollen from what we’d done.

That thought was the reality check I waswaiting for.

I’d just kissed Finn Rhodes.

And he’d kissed me back.

I hadn’t realised my head had sank until I felthis hand under my chin, lightly tipping it until I caught his gaze.

“I don’t want to push you away,” he saidsoftly, like the world was finally making sense. Like he was seeing sense.

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