Page 10 of Wonderstruck

I stood my ground, shock veiling my stare. “If you’re looking for anyone to blame for this—” I pointedmy finger between us. “—then I’ll gladly fetch youa mirror.”

It was like the world fell silent to watch the war between us. As though the campus had been evacuated purely for us.

I refused tofeel bad for staying so far away from him last year, and he should feel guilty for trying to make me the villain in this pathetic charade we’ve been keeping up.

But the longer I didn’t break his gaze the more I watched things unravel behindhis eyes. He knew that what he did, how he turned me down, was the reason behind this. If he hadn’t, if he’d said anything at all, then maybe we wouldn't have to tiptoe around each other and sit at opposite ends of the table when all of us went out to eat.

But then the truth I’d been avoiding all year comes floodingback.

It’s because he doesn’t like you. And you have to get over that.

I let my body fall back, widening the gap between us and reaching my hand outtowards the door. “Like I said, I’m fine.” I twisted the handle, forgetting the pull from the outside that told me I didn’t belong in that class. “If you want to know how I am you can ask the others.”

I slipped into the room, closing the door and resting my back against it, like Iwas trapping a fire, stopping it from seeping in and burning me. Luckily, there was no one in here yet, and I was too busy trying to push my tears back down to guess whether my eagerness to be here this early was just a front for how much I’d rather bolt right back out of here.

Out of Liberty Grove for good.

1.Fuck.

chapter four

home is wherever they are

The townhouse smelled like home in a way that only a lived-in place can.

When I walked through the door, the faint scent of Daisy’s lavender incenseand a hint of Goldie’s vanilla candles greeted me, wrapping around me like a soft blanket. Cora was singing Lily Allen songs in the kitchen, making me smile as I took off my shoes, resting them on the rack by the front door that I fell in love with every time I saw it.

It was pink.

The house technically belonged to Cora’s sister, but somehow, it belonged to allof us now.

Seeing as though we were no longerrequired to live in the dorms, none of ushesitated to find a place together. And when Cora mentioned that her sister’s place was sitting empty and that she was looking to rent it out, we jumped at the chance.

It also didn’t hurt that Flo’s, the bakery I’d worked at since my senior year of high school, was only one stop away on the subway when I needed to head in for my shifts.

I slipped my keys on my designated hook before dumping my bag on the stairs and wandering further into the house to find the girls. I passed the sitting room and made a beeline for the kitchen, smells from all kinds of herbs and spices wafting out and washing over me, ones that told me Cora was making her pasta dish that we’d all deemed our favourite.

“Alright, Ror?” She asked over hershoulder as I walked in, her black bob swishingas she smiled. “Will you round up the others? Tea’s almost ready.”

"Uh huh." I mumbled, pulling out my phone, thumbs fumblingover the message as I let Daisy and Goldie know that dinner was ready. As soon as I hit send, I set the phone down and sank into my usual chair at the little round table against the wall. A sigh slipped out of me, harsher than I meant it to, and I looked down at my hands, tracing the faint lines on my palms.

All day, I’d been waiting to come backhere, like holding my breath underwater, waiting to break the surface. After the run-in with Finn and a day of classes that only reminded me how law was the most soul-sucking degree to exist, I’d spent the rest of my day just thinking of this place, the only place that felt steady.

In Honeywood, everyone was careful around me, like I was wrapped in yellow ‘fragile’ tape. And to be honest I was so tired of everyone seeing me as that Rory. Rory, who’d lost her dad. Rory, who had to be watched. Rory, who they were all a little afraid might break.

I wasn’t ignoring what had happened. It was always there, lingering at theedges of my mind like a messy room. But I justwanted one space where I could feel like myself again, without anyone worrying about what I could or couldn’t handle. Without worrying that when those random spurts of grief would hit, I wouldn’t be treated like a paper doll.

And luckily that place was here.

“God, I’m starving.” Goldie’s voice was a warm burst of life as she strolled in, eyes lighting up when she saw me. She slipped around the table and pulled meinto a tight hug, her arms firm and grounding. “Missed you today,” she murmured against my shoulder.

I blinked, swallowing the prickling feeling in my throat, and hugged her back.“Missed you, too,” I managed to whisper, the words almost getting stuck on their way out.

Daisy had made her way into the kitchentoo and was hovering by the counter, holding two bowls. Her brows lifted as shelooked at me, her dimples deepening. “Hey, how was your day?”

“Good,” I said, giving a quick nod, as if that would make it real. “It was good.”

It was far from good, and even though I knew that I could be honest around thistable, sometimes I just didn’t have it in me to be.

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