Page 61 of Starstruck

As though a bulb went off in his head, he backed up, my breathsdeepening as he leaned back on his hands. “Shit, Goldie—”

“No,” I rushed, pinning a smile on my face like everything was okayand there weren’t a thousand thoughts sprinting around my head. “It’s okay, that’s why we're here right? I’m here to scare away the vultures and you’re here to… help me not suck at dating… it’s fine.”

His head angled as he went to reach for my hands. “Gold’s—”

I got to my knees and shoved my laptop back in my backpack. “No,you gave me your advice, and I’ll bear it in mind.” I somehow got to my feet on shaky legs. “I probably won’t use it but, I might, who knows.” The most awkward laugh that’s ever seen the light of day left my mouth as I turned to face him, still sitting on the blanket and watching me with those luring eyes. “So, uh… just call me when you need me to hold your hand, or… whatever.”

And before I could change my mind, I pathetically speed-walkedback down the path we walked here on, ignoring his call after me and making a beeline for the park exit. I knew I was in the wrong, that I shouldn't had jumped down his throat. But I was too overwhelmed to do anything about it right now, even though all I wanted to do was turn back and stay with him.

chapter nineteen

she writes my songs for me

I’ve only been back in the dorm for twenty minutes, and I’m alreadyitching to leave and head out to find Goldie and apologise for how I snapped.

She had every right to ask me whether she thought I’d taken whathe’d said too seriously, but she wasn’t there when the words slipped from his slimy mouth. She didn’t see the smirk spread across his face. And when she thought I’d taken it the wrong way… I lost it.

The second I got back into the dorm, startling Finn awake as Islammed the door, I flicked the kettle on, knowing full well that a milky tea would calm me down. Then I went straight for my guitars, plugged in the electric one, and got to writing. It took me all of ten minutes to have the skeleton and base chords for a song that, if Goldie so much as read the first line, she’d know it was about her.

Come to think of it, the last three songs I’d drafted seemed torevolve around a star girl who had made stopping off here while I cleared my head sound like a holiday to heaven.

“You’re really sticking with the electric guitar, huh?” the mound ofpillows on Finn’s bed mumbled from across the room. He’d been a baby about me waking him up and had somehow been existing under his sheets for the last twenty minutes.

I strum the strings of the cream guitar resting in my lap, the soundreverberating around the space. “Give me five minutes, and I’ll be done.”

His groan got louder as he emerged from the pile of sheets, but ashe went to place his feet on the ground and finally get out of bed at 11:00 AM, his face twisted, as he hissed between his teeth.

I looked over at him. “Still feeling the effects of last night?”

He peeks his eyes up to me. “Coach Burton warned me aboutthe right winger for the Panthers, but I didn’t think he meant that the guy was an unhinged psychopath who thinks a hockey stick is a… weapon.” He cringed through the words as he managed to stand up, the bruise that was now fully settled on his upper arm snatching both of our attentions.

He rolled his eyes at me. “That’s not even the worst one I’ve had.”

I lean forward slightly, tracing the swirls of blue and brown thatbloomed on his arm. “Are you sure you’ll survive mini-golf later?”

Something Jesse planned, actually. He said our group hierarchyneeded to be established, but Finn told me that he just likes it because all they play is eighties music.

Finn snickered under his breath. “Please, I could have both my armsin casts and I’d still kick both your asses at that shit.”

I pull my smile tight as he gets his bearings, before casting my eyesback down to the guitar resting in my lap and strumming a C chord, then an A, and then a—

“White skirt, angel eyes. Lips tremble cause' you think it's lies—"

I snatched the notepad from Finn’s hands and tossed it aside, aplayful grin on my face. He looked me up and down, shaking his head with a smirk. “You’re fucked.”

My brows pulled together. “How am I fucked?”

He nodded his chin at me. “Say her name without blushing.”

I locked eyes with him, my heart racing as I conjured up Goldie’simage—her laughter echoing in my mind, her smile like a sunbeam cutting through clouds. Just thinking about her was enough to make my cheeksfeelred—

“See! Look at you. You’re blushing.” His finger flailed at my cheeks.

“Alright, dickhead,” I sat up straighter in the lumpy bed. “Thinkabout Rory.”

It barely took any time at all for a faint red hew to take over Finn’scheeks. He shook his head and flailed his hands. “Yeah, well, that’s not gonna happen, so leave it. Go back to writing songs about your girlfriend.”

Girlfriend.

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