Page 57 of Starstruck

we’ll see.

chapter seventeen

here's your white chocolate with a side of commitment issues

The buzzer echoed through the rink, cutting through the roars and heckles from both the Liberty Lions fans and the other half of the crowd in black and gold. The ice turned into a chaotic blur of green and black, but I kept my eyes on the only jerseys that mattered—numbers eight and twenty-two.

Finn, number eight, was hard to miss. He towered over everyone,even the seniors, and moved like a bloody greyhound, weaving through the other team with ease. Then there was Jesse, number twenty-two. He was more of an underdog, keeping quiet, almost unnoticed. But just when you thought he’d vanished into the background, he’d nick the puck and send it flying straight into the back of the net.

This is the fourth hockey game I’ve been to since being here, so mygrasp of the rules was getting better, although I was pretty sure these refs made up the rules as they went along. Just last week, the Boston University Terriers’ centre player knocked Finn off his feet, sending him tumbling down the ice and contorting in a way that made me cringe just thinking about it.

And did the ref do anything? Did he fuck.

That was when I stood up on my plastic seat, called the ref a knob,and was then collared by one of Liberty staff attending the game and given a warning.

It was worth it, though, seeing the way Jesse was hunched over andlaughing, while Finn smiled at me from the recovery bench. We all laughed about it when the game ended and we headed back to the dorms, and somehow we didn’t notice that the sun was rising by the time we’d stopped talking.

It felt nice, having people like them—people I could actually callfriends. The word didn’t sound as pathetic as it used to, rolling around in my head. There was a time when even thinking about it would make me feel small, like I didn’t deserve it. But now… now it felt different. Lighter, maybe.

But, no matter how good it felt, that fear was still there, alwayslurking. A sharp, nagging pain that reminded me I was risking something by letting them in, by letting myself get closer. It still stabbed at me, twisting in my back every time I thought about how easily it could all slip away.

You’re here for a reason, Tristan.

Maybe that’s what scared me most—that I was getting used tothe idea of belonging, and I knew just how dangerous that could be. Because when you’ve been on your own for as long as I have, you start to wonder if you’ll ever really be part of anything. And the thought of losing this… of losing them… was a kind of ache I wasn’t sure I’d survive.

I just had to keep my wits about me.

I kept my eyes on Jesse and Finn, calling out the occasional swearword when one of the other team's players tried to push their luck, when I felt a nudge on my shoulder.

“Do they play a lot of hockey in England?” Henry asked, the lightsthat hung above the rink reflecting in the corners of his rounded glasses.

There was something more casual about him tonight—nobutton-down or tailored trousers; instead, he had on baggy blue jeans and a grey hoodie, his blonde hair the most dishevelled I’d seen.

I shrugged, pulling the sleeves of my jumper over my knuckles, the chill from the ice making me crave a brew. “Not really, mate. We’ve got the EIHL, but it’s nowherenear as big of a sport as it is over here.”

Henry nodded at me. “Kinda like soccer over here, then.”

Another shrug. “Yeah, I suppose.”

The sound of bodies slamming against the flex-glass barrier stealsboth mine and Henry’s attention, and lucky for them, I can see Finn and Jesse over by the top left side of the rink, and when the whistle blows, the ice is a blur again.

But I feel Henry turn to face me, that awkward air between us onlythickening rather than thinning out. “The girls not coming then?”

The girls.

The empty seats where all four of them should’ve been made mebite my cheek. I missed them more than I’d expected, and their not being here made the rink feel colder, if that was possible. Their slumber party better be worth it, because right now, I could’ve used them—not just for the company, but to put some distance between me and Henry.

I glance at the empty seats once again, before I shake my head athim. “Nope, althoughiwishtheywere.” I mumbled the last part as I rubbed the back of my neck.

It wasn’t that I didn’t like Henry; I just didn’t know him. I suppose having this time now, without the girls, was a blessing. Maybe this was my chance to get a read on him, figure out what his deal is, and then report back to Goldie.

Like her own little spy.

That thought had my mouth prying open. “Any of them caught youreye?” I asked, casually enough, with my eyes following the guys as they shredded the ice.

Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed him fidgeting with the sleeves of his hoodie, his gaze drifting toward the rink. “The girls are great, real funny,” he said, his voice casual, but there was a hint of something beneath it. “But… there’s just something about Goldie.”

I kept my eyes on the ice as I asked, “Yeah? What’s that?”

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