Page 53 of Starstruck

I stood still for a second, realising that she had a point. So, withouther seeing a difference, I slipped off my mask, and let the truth fall out of my mouth with a sigh.“I can’t fall for you. We’re two different people with very different futures who belong on different sides of the world. I’m not planning on falling for you, or anyone for that matter.”

Goldie seemed to stand taller as she replied, “And I can’t fall foryou knowing that, if I did, all my firsts, that I’ve waited so long for, wouldn’t be real.”

For someone who thought she was blind when it came to love, itmade me happy to know she had such a clear picture in her head of what she wanted, and what she deserved. And I was sure that I’d get over the fact that that picture looked nothing like me.

“Your firsts are safe with me, Gold’s. I swear.”

Her smile rose. “So it’s settled; no falling for each other.” Shereminded me, holding out her hand.

I slipped my hand through hers, cold as anything, before shaking it.“Deal.”

As our hands fell back down by our sides, I recognised that feelingof being watched, when out of the corner of my eye I noticed a group of girls, ones I’d never seen before, or maybe I had and they were all starting to blur together now, hovering over by the wall that led to the fountain.

As Goldie looks up at me, I find a fallen curl that frames her face,and graze my fingers along her skin as I tuck it behind her ear. Her eyes widen, the brown that swam with the gold gazing up at me, as I duck down, my lips pressing a kiss onto her cheek, hot as ever, before I near her ear and whisper, “Shows on, Sunshine.”

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chapter sixteen

where's the ghost of girlhood when you need her?

“Guys, say something. Anything,” I pleaded, cupping my hands aroundmy face as I sank back onto my bed.

The girls had been sitting wide-eyed and silent on Daisy's bed for awhile now, and it was starting to freak me out.Cora’s gaze flitted around the room, her brows furrowed inconcentration. Daisy was rooted to the spot, twisting the ends of her curly braids as she stared out the window.

Finally, Rory cleared her throat, breaking the tension. “I’mconfused… when exactly did you start dating Tristan?”

I tightened my smile, trying to keep it steady. “Last night.”

Cora’s head snapped back to me, her eyes wide. “At your dinner?”

“During.”

Daisy abandoned the clouds and blinked rapidly at me. “Wait, is thatwhy you left the table? And why he left right after?”

No, I was crying because I was happy, then I got attacked, and thenTristan saved me.

“Yes.” I blurted, while the girls all turned to each other, mixedemotions splashed across their faces.

Rory turned back to me. “But… Gold’s, we thought you liked Henry?”

I shrugged, a smile tugging at my lips without permission as Henry drifted into my mind. But just as that hazy image settled, something shifted. Suddenly, Tristan took his place, his presence pushing aside the memories of last night. And this morning.

You’re supposed to like him now, remember?

The thought fluttered through my mind as I imagined us together—two people at opposite corners of the universe, each yearning for something different. Our futures unravelled in my mind like strands of yarn, one a pale yellow, the other a deep, starless black—two colours that were never meant to intertwine.

But then I recalled the way he’d looked at me, the effortless wayhe made me smile just by being there. The memory lingered, wrapping around me like a warm blanket, and my smile deepened, even as confusion twisted in my chest. It was strange to feel so pulled in two directions, both pulling me toward a future that felt impossibly complicated.

I shrugged. “I did, I do, but...” I pictured Tristan by the fountainthis morning, whispering things into my ears and tattooing my cheek with a kiss that held up my end of this bargain. “He’s sweet, you know, and I don’t know... I just like him.”

None of that was a lie. Tristanwassweet; behind the clothes andthe dark stare, there was a boy who just wanted to feel supported, someone who wanted anyone to trust his visions. He reminded me a lot of myself.

It helped this whole thing that he also wasn’t awful to look at. He was all the components of a heartthrob with all the dare and angst of a misunderstood villain.

I looked up at the girls, swoony smiles resting on their mouths, onesthat warmed my heart, knowing that I could have told them anything, and they would’ve been happy for me.

My shoulders rolled as I cupped my hands. “It’s just… you guys knowwhat happened before I got here, and I’m… I’m just figuring out what I want… I’m figuring out what my heart and I never had time to figure out.” My heart pattered as I reminded them, “To fun, right?”

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