Page 51 of Starstruck

“Look, I know what it’s like to be stuck in a life you don’t wantbecause your parents think they know what’s best for you, and if I can help get you out of this in any way, help you get what you know is right for you, then let me.”

That reminder of home only reminded me of how much being therewould be a nightmare. I’d be swamped by memories and bad dreams, and I’d just spiral. That was why I was three-thousand miles away.

But she thinks you hate being here. She thinks you can’t stand thisplace, and the people who go here.

Maybe there was a reason I wanted to be in the shadows—morethan the safety they promised. Maybe it was the fact that, on some level, I knew I wasn’t ready to admit to myself that what happened, happened. And if I wasn’t ready for that, there was no way I’d ever be ready to explain it to someone else.

Just the hazy image of me sitting down to tell Goldie about thattime in my life, about those people, about that night, when God herself didn’t have a clue what was paralyzing my body, made the walls in my mind start to falter.

Maybe keeping myself in the dark corners of Liberty, away from thequestions, the attention and using Goldie as my shield, was exactly what I wanted.

Maybe I needed this.

As I entertained the idea of what she’d offered in a spare part ofmy brain, I let my eyes dip to my lap, zeroing in on my twitching fingers, before I peered up to meet her stare. “And what are you getting out of this?”

Her head bobbed to the side. “What?”

I sighed, stretching up from the fountain and standing in front ofher. “Well, let's say, hypothetically, we did this; I can’t just let you help me if there’s nothing in this for you. You have better things to be doing than helping me; you’d be around me all the time and we’d get sick—”

“Tristan I don’t just want to sit around and wait for you to come tome to tell me that another Becca groped you, okay?” Her gaze turned fiery, subtle enough that if I looked hard enough I could see the crystal tones catching fire as she held my stare. “Would you pretend to be my boyfriend again if it meant guys wouldn’t try to hurt me?”

I would. I didn’t need a second to think about that.

“Of course I would,” I said, the quiver of a nod heading her way.“But if you’re helping me, then let me help you, with anything.”

Her bottom lip sank into her teeth; that smirk not hidden like shethought it was. “You could teach me how to play guitar?” I mulled over the idea; a picture of me sat behind her, a guitar in front of us, teaching her the chords, and I would have said yes if she hadn’t screwed up her face. “Actually, I have no hand-eye coordination so that would just be hopeless.”

I shrugged. “I could tutor you?”

I’m pretty sure the hyenas in Central Park Zoo all quieted to laughat that.

I shook my head, realising that tutoring Goldie would be liketutoring a textbook. “Yeah, maybe not.”

We both stood there for a second, lost in our own thoughts, when Iwatched her start to pull at the sleeves of her cardigan.

She did that a lot—pull into herself—and I had a feeling it wasn’t just the autumn chill. Last night, it was more noticeable—especially when Henry looked her way. She hadn’t been kidding when she said she was clueless about flirting. It was written all over her face when he told her she looked lovely; she froze, like she didn’t know what to do with the compliment.

I watched it happen, though she never caught my gaze. And honestly, I was glad. The last thing I wanted was to make that moment even harder for her.

But perhaps there was a way I could help her.

My eyes got wide. “What if I help you get Henry?”

She froze, her eyes pinging to me. “What?”

I shook my head. “What you told me the other day, about notknowing how to ask someone out because you never had the time to learn… what if I could help you?”

Her eyes narrowed, playfully so. “Oh, because you’re an expert inthat area?”

I ducked my head to her height, those narrow eyes of hers wideningslightly. “Goldie, this is where I thrive.”

It wasn’t a total lie, but I think it’s safe to say that I’d lost some ofmy charisma since… you know. But I’d help her, in any way that I could.

She went quiet for a moment, her eyes locked on mine, searchingfor something. Then, with a quick tilt of her head and a slight pull back, she straightened instinctively. “You know what? This is crazy. It’s crazy, isn’t it?”

I shrugged, caught up in the breeze she caused as she began topace. “A little, but I don’t know, Gold’s,” I took a step towards her. “If you want my help, then my time is yours.” I let my gaze fall, forgetting my lies for just a second, and letting the kid inside me speak. “You’ve been the closest thing to a friend since I’ve been here. Yes, I’ve got Finn and Jess… but you’re the first person I’ve ever considered a friend, a proper one.”

I closed the distance between us, taking another step towards her,close enough that I could take in the sweet scent of strawberries that seemed to exist around her.

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