Page 111 of Starstruck

“Sorry, sorry,” he blurted out, hands raised defensively. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

I let out a breath, the adrenaline still surging. “Well, don’t fucking creep up on me then?” I spat, the words laced with frustration I hadn’t meant to aim at him.

The moment they left my mouth, I regretted them. I squeezed my eyes shut, letting out a long exhale before meeting his gaze again. “Sorry,” I mumbled, softer now, feeling the weight of my own tension in every word.

Nate shrugged as he claimed the swing next to me. “It’s fine, don’tworry.” He kicks the snow lightly as he sways in the breeze, covering his boots, the soft sounds, and that of a distant owl, the only ones floating between us.

“What happened?” Nate asked, his tone casual, like he already knew the storm brewing in my mind. I glanced at him, trying to steady myself, but before I could deflect, he beat me to it. “I saw her with Addy.”

My chest tightened, the image of Goldie crying into her sister’s arms flashing through my head, ripping me apart inside.

“It’s nothing,” I lied, my voice flat as I kicked at the snow, trying to bury the truth along with it.

Nate let out a soft laugh, one that tugged my attention back to him. “I’ve known that girl since she was three,” he said, his eyes sharper now, cutting through my bullshit. “I’ve seen her hide her feelings over big things, man. She wouldn’t cry like that if it was nothing.”

Something stabbed at my heart; the shooting pains made me rest my elbows onmy knees and let my gaze get lost amongst the snow. I ran a hand through my hair while I tried to think of anything else rather than the mental image of Goldie crying, all because of me.

“So, what happened?” Nate pressed, his voice cutting through the cold air.

I shrugged, feeling the weight of everything I’d been holding in start to melt away. “It’s because I can’t stay here.”

“She’s sad that you’re leaving?” he asked, his tone gentle but probing.

I looked at him, feeling the ache settle deep in my chest. “She’s sad because I won’t stay,” I corrected, the words bitter in my mouth. I took a shaky breath. “I want to stay... God, do I want to stay. But... staying means telling her the truth, and I don’t think I’m ready for that.”

Nate studied me, his gaze steady and understanding. After a moment, he huffed. “I’m sensing this isn’t a conversation for tree swings.”

I shook my head, a weak smile ghosting my lips.

“Tell me,” he blurted, surprising me. He shrugged casually. “Tell me, and I’ll tell you if she can handle it.” His eyes flicked toward the house, as if imagining her there. “But I’m pretty sure there’s not much that could rattle that girl.”

I followed his line of sight and thought of her, her smile, and withinseconds I was smiling too.

I let my head drop before I sucked in a breath, readying myself toblurt out the thing that I’d been swallowing down for too long now.

Here goes nothing.

“The whole reason I’m at Liberty Grove is because I overdosed, after gettinginto some shit habits when my music was taking off, and one night, the people I took the drugs with stuffed me into a car outside some club, robbed me, and dumped me in the middle of Clapham, only for an off-duty paramedic to find me and get me rushed to hospital.”

The weight of those words hung in the air between us, heavy andraw, and for a moment, all I could do was listen to myself.

You're okay.

Keep going.

It'll only hurt less the more you keep talking.

“I’d gone too far, and I was in a situationthat I didn’t know how to handle. So, once I’d recovered and was back home, me and my parents decided it was time to change. And change, we decided, meant school, ideally somewhere far away from London and with people who hadn’t heard of me or couldn’t know about why I was really there.”

“I’d heard of Liberty Grove in passing, and New York had always been a placeI could see myself existing in. We came here a lot when I was a kid so… it made sense.” I watched Nate nod, his eyes not leaving mine for a second. "But when my music finally took off after years of struggle—being called names and told I’d never amount to anything—people were actually listening. Really listening. Studying was the last thing on my mind.”

“Suddenly, I was seeing London like I never had before. I was being invited toevents and parties and mixing with people I’d only even seen online. But things got out of control quickly, I wanted to impress people, people who didn’t even deserve my attention, but… it happened.”

“After I'd recovered, my parents and I spoke to my label, and my manager, and theyagreed I could take some time to clear my head, so long as it didn’t get out to the press. So when I got here, I thought that pretending I didn’t want to be here, pretending that my parents were making me come here would be a sure way to throw people away from the truth.”

I looked back up at the house, the fiery glow from inside reminding me of her.

“And then Goldie walked into my life, and the more I tried to ignore how I felt about her, the more I was proved wrong.”

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