Page 69 of Starstruck

“Which iswhywe don’t have to do this.” I angled my chin up to him,trying not to crack under the weight of his stare. “Maybe I’m not as ready as I thought I was.”

His palms lifted from the table. “Goldie, just say the word, and wecan stop this. If you want out, you know that’s fine.”

I didn't want out, but I was scared of what would happen to us, to me, if I stayed locked in.

I cast my eyes to the ornate ceiling, tracing the pretty coving as Ithought about his words, before I let my eyes roll back to him. “But what about my end of the deal?”

Something flashed across his eyes as he moved them, but for thelife of me, I didn’t know what to call it. It looked like grief, but it shined the way that sadness did and had the glisten of defeat. As though whatever was about to fall out of his mouth was something he didn’t want to say.

His cinnamon eyes darted to me, holding my stare for a breathbefore casting them back to the coffee he was swirling around the glass. “I’m not supposed to say this, but if what’s happening with my music is true, then I won’t be here for long anyway.”

My smile paused, as the beats of my heart doubled. “What do youmean—”

“An album.” He rushed, placing his gaze back on me. “The recordcompany I’m with wants me to make an album.”

The crumbs that lingered in my mouth caught in the back of mythroat. “Are you serious,” I sat up to face him. "And you don't think you're good enough? What do your parents think?"

He shrugged, something flitting across his eyes that faded so fast I didn't know what to call it. "They were surprised. I don't think they expected this so soon after my being here."

I didn't know what else to do but shake my head, an unconscious smile blooming on my face.

I wonder if he knew how proud of him I was?

I held my smile as I turned to him. “Holy shit, Tristan that’s… Wait, why don’t you look happy?”

That look flashed across his eyes again. “No, I am.”

“What is it?”

His eyes softened, and his fingers pulling at the cuffs of hissweater. “Let’s just say there are things at Liberty that I’ll miss when my time here is up, and I get on with my life.”

I couldn’t help but let my brows pull. “But I thought getting out ofhere was what you wanted?”

“It is, eventually. But…” He caught my eyes, widening his like he’dsaid something he shouldn’t. “You know what, forget I said anything.” His laugh was nervous, something I didn’t think a guy like Tristan had in him.

So I put my hand on his, stopping him from trying to shuffle. “Hey,”That earned me back his stare, which was just as shaky as his hand was. And as my mouth popped open, a light bulb shone in the corner of my mind. “What are you dreaming about?”

This time I saw that familiar sparkle in his eye, the one that shoneabove the onyx clouds that hung over them, and as I watched the corners of his mouth twinge up, I knew I had him.

“I’m dreaming about how hard it is to really admit that being here,and being around you guys, isn’t what I want. What I’ve become comfortable with.” His head leant back against the booth. “I didn’t have many friends growing up, if I had any at all, to be honest. And now… now I have you guys, and that…”

My head tilted, trying to catch those dark orbs. “It what?”

Finally, I felt the weight of his stare again, before a light nod rolledthrough him. “It terrifies me.”

I felt the puppet strings attached to my heart begin to pull, makingthe beats feel twice as painful as they had a second ago.

He’d never had this before, friends, a chosen family, and knowingthat that scared him…

“Tristan,” I sighed, reaching for his hand again and ignoring all thewarning signs before lacing my fingers through his.

And almost gasping once I felt how quick his pulse was.

But I shook my head. “If it helps, apart from my sister, I’ve neverhad something like this either.” His smile pulled tight. “I hadn’t had the pleasure of existing around people who wanted to knowme, and not the girl on the screen. But I’m getting used to it, and I think the fact that the people we’ve wound up with are genuinely good people,” I sent a squeeze through his hand, not thinking about what that meant to him, or me, but knowing that when his eyes went soft at the feel of it, I was in two minds to do it again. I smiled. “We’ve got nothing to worry about.”

Tristan didn’t stop searching my eyes as I stopped talking, for what,I wasn’t sure, but there was something about it, the way I could feel him wandering the earthy tones that lived in them, that I enjoyed.

I was about to do the same with him, swan dive into the dusky nightshades that lured me in without any real effort, before I caught myself, and dropped my eyes to my lap. That was when I remembered that his hand was still in mine, so, slowly, I slipped out of his hold and went for my coffee, if only to distract me from the buzzing in my hands that was urging me to lace our fingers again.

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