Page 97 of The Fate Of Us

Realising that I let out a laugh, humourless and pathetic, as I shook my head, my handsfalling back down my side, my eyes getting lost in what was before me—

There.

Something was there. By the pier.

I didn’t so much as blink as I kept my eyes trained on whatever it was, its body perchedon the edge of the dock, what looked like auburn hair flailing in the breeze—

Firefly.

My heart sighed at the nickname.

I stalked backwards, up a few steps, careful and quiet. My heart aches and thrashes themore I watch her, the more I squint as make out the details of her. I felt the air knocked out of me when I noticed that she wore the white… ivory summer dress. She knows what it means, and knows that I do too.

But she doesn’t know I’m here. Does she expect me to be here? Could she possibly thinkthat I’d want to see her again?

Well, you’re here, aren’t you?The voice inside of me questions. I ignore it.

I watch her as she stands, her delicate feet probably dripping with the ocean, andwanders to the edge. The girl with the dreams that matched the size of the ocean that drifted before her…

And she waits.

She waits, for me.

It’s then that I curse myself for never moving on from her. That I never cast her out of mymemory and forgot that she still walked the earth. Conquered it, on her own, like she promised herself she would.

Seeing as though she was still acting, and had been in probably the highest-grossingmovie to come out this year, it’s no surprise that I’ve not forgotten her. She was quite literally everywhere. In my mind, on billboards… everywhere.

Which was another reason why some part of me still loved her. Wanted her.

I feel an attack coming on when I remember that, when I remember the hold she still hason me, the iron grip on my weak little heart.

But all of it… it’s not fair. She kissed a guy she promised me she hated. She lied to me.

Cheated on me. Threw everything I gave her back in my face. And yet she’s still allowed to control me the way she does, whether she knows it or not?

What part of that was fair?

I shouldn’t want to walk out to her right now. I shouldn’t want to stop hiding and go andhug her, hold her. I shouldn’t want to let her explain and give her a chance to hurt me all over again.

I should want to stop loving her, but I know I never will. No matter what.

She gave up on us… and remembering that is what makes my feet move away from her,back up the steps I was stupid enough to ever walk down again.

And it feels odd, like when you put the opposite ends of a magnet together, it’s that sameresistance that's trying to drag me back to her. But I fight it, I cry, I curse under my breath and before I know it I’m back in my car.

Somehow I drive back home, under the stars, trying my hardest not to think about whatthey’d look like reflecting off Addy’s eyes.

At least now I have the reminder of what she did, when she kissed Asher, and hopefullyhaving that Polaroid with me on the days when I get the urge to call her will help me move on. For good.

Hopefully…

I look back up at Jacob, blinking my dry eyes, ready to answer his question.

“I think part of me went back just to see ifshewould. I hoped that if she did, seeing herthere and seeing the moment she realised I wasn’t coming would be this satisfying moment, the revenge that I needed to help me move on. Which sounds fucked up, but what I saw hurt me, and it hurt more when I figured out that I’d never truly hate her for it.”

My eyes dip to Flo, her cheeks now wet with tears, before I feel my heart crack and lookback at Jacob. “But, originally, all I went back for was the Polaroid.”

“Why?” Jacob asked.

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