Page 78 of The Fate Of Us

I stagger out a sigh, daring a few steps closer to her. “I made them.”

Shock brightens her face, her eyes dipping to the book she was holding like a rediscoveredjewel. “But… how?”

“I learned how to. With some help, but…” The corners of my mouth tug, remembering thenight I spent with glue smeared up my forearms, the clock ticking past four in the morning, her books finally set and bound. “You weren’t meant to see them yet.”

Her head drops to her books, then back to me. “Yet?”

I nod. “It was supposed to be this whole thing, to try and see if we could work thingsout.”

“A peace offering?”

“If you want to call it that.”

Sadness clouds her eyes, dulling the fire that constantly lives in them. Then her head fallsforward, her body slumping too. But, as if something flickered across her mind, she straightens up, her hand frantically dropping her books on the couch beside her, sliding them out and plucking one from the pile.

I watch intently as she peels back the hardcover of the book I had bound in the darkestgreen. Her eyes scan the first page, before turning it over and reading whatever was written on the other. I don’t so much as breathe as I watch her eyes fall down the page, a waterfall of emotions falling onto her face.

She nods when she’s finished, satisfied with whatever it was she was searching for,before making my hair stand on end as she strides over to me, slow and steady, each pad of her bare feet sounding in time with my heart.

I suck in a breath as she nears me, remembering all the ways that I craved this closenesswhen I abandoned her. I look down at her hands as she passes me the book, open to the dedication page, before seeing her mouth part in my peripheral.

“Read it,” she instructed, so soft that it was barely audible.

But I nodded, and let my eyes fall upon the slanted words.

To Nate, my best friend. You left for college this morning, and I think only now do I know what it feels like for a heart to break. You didn’t cry, as you hugged me, which made me cry. You've changed, I know you have.

If that’s my fault, if I made you feel anything but happy, I’m so so sorry.

I don’t think you’ll ever read this, so I’m treating it like a confession. I think I’ll love you forever, no matter what happens between us, no matter how far away we are from each other, I know a piece of me will always belong to you.

This is a promise that my heart will be yours.

Unconditionally.

“Two things. I’m gonna need you to explain one thing and answer me another. Okay?” My eyes, dry from the lack of blinking, ache up towards her, towards the voice that wascoated with sadness.

“Anything.”

Her head angled slightly, enough that a beam of sunlight now lit half of her face. “Explain to me, Nate, why you think you needed this grand gesture to win me back?” Herhand flailed its pointed finger at the book in my hands. “Read that once more, and tell me why you thought I’d take you back just because of these.”

My hands fell by my side, the numbness pooling at the tips of my fingers. “It wasn’t justto win you back, Addy.”

“What was it for, then?”

“To prove to you that you’ve always had the talent to walk away from this world,knowing that the one you wanted would be waiting for you when you did.” I dared a step towards her. “And as for winning you back, I thought it would give me better odds of you not walking away from me when I tried to talk to you. I thought it would keep you standing under me for longer than a few seconds. I thought—”

“You thought you needed a peace offering to get my attention.”

Nodding at her, my eyes fall to the ground. “Yeah.”

Emotion floods her eyes, the glisten of tears I never wanted to see fall shining in thesunbeams. One quick blink from her and one of those damned things slips down her rosy cheeks.

“All I’ve ever wanted from you, Nate, is the truth. About what happened, why you left—”I felt the words get caught in her throat, that pain that I felt for the both of us tugging me towards her. “Telling me why I never saw you again would do all of those things just fine. It’s all I’ve wanted since I was eighteen; to know why the boy I loved without a single condition would never want to see me again.”

“And all I wanted to know was why you wanted to share that love with Asher.”

Her face was the picture of confusion. “I never liked him—”

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