Page 32 of The Fate Of Us

“It’s a guilty wear, Addy. You don’t wear it to tease me like you think you do: youwear it because, deep down, you still feel every ounce of guilt that you deserve to feel. And the sooner you realise that, the sooner this can all be over.”

Like my words knocked some sense into her, she pulled her body away from me, theheat she provided making my bones icy again, before spinning to face me.

“I have nothing to feel guilty about.” she spits, opting for denial like she did the lasttime that ivory cotton clung to her skin. “It’s you who should be swimming in guilt after abandoning me.”

I don’t mean to laugh, or perhaps I do. If anyone did the abandoning in this situation,that role goes to her, the second she traded me in for someone else.

The look that just ran to her face, though, for the first time, has me second-guessingwhether what I just said to her was true. The bulge of tears that race to her lashline scares me, like time hasn’t been kind to my memory, and I’m mixing up the details.

But I can’t be.

She’s the one who cheated. How could she make me feel guilty about not showing upat the pier that day?

Her head drops, and I watch as her chest rises high before her chin tilts back to me,those tears now halfway down her rosy cheeks.

“I’m so tired of playing this game. And what hurts the most is that you won’t tell mewhy you never came—”

“Dinner’s ready, you two!” Jacob’s voice calls from the kitchen, distracting both ofus long enough that our bodies fall back into that practiced silence.

After holding my stare for a second longer than she should have, she turns her back tome, her hands flying to wipe away the evidence of my words. But before she furthers the space between us, her head cranes over her shoulder, the teary streaks that were stuck to her cheeks catching the light as her mouth parted.

"Happy Birthday."

Chapter twelve

Adaline

It’shardtoadmitthat I loved Nate Patricks once.

It’s harder to think about the reasons why I fell in love with him in the first place.

The way he’d glance at me during English, smirking at how quickly I filled up everypiece of paper on my desk. How nervous I could tell he was when he held my hand before we jumped off the pier and into the waves together. The way I felt his heartbeat gradually speed up on my back as I cuddled up into him on the bus ride home.

I don’t think I’ve ever given myself time to mourn him, the boy I fell in love with.Not properly. I think it was only now that I realised he was truly gone.

The splash of realisation hit me in the face the second he laughed atme just now. So casually cruel and making me feel only inches tall… so helplessly naive that I ever fell for him.

I wonder if the reason he never showed up, after spending a year away from me whileI fought against Hollywood’s lights and seedy reporters, while he went to college like he wanted, will be one of life’s great unanswered questions.

You know, like how we’ll never truly know how large the universe is or how manystars hang above us when we look up into the night sky, I wonder if the reason Nate Patricks chose not to meet me that day will be eternally speculated.

Only by me, though. Seeing as though we refuse to clue anyone up about our past.

Which is becoming awkward, to be honest with you. Especially with the loved-up pairthat have just sat down around the dining table after preparing a meal worthy of more than just our attention.

“This smells incredible. Thank you, you two. I really mean it.” Nate says from theopposite end of the table, tanned skin glowing under the lights. Which reminds me to ‘thank’ Flo for placing us directly opposite one another.

Meddling Brit.

“I can’t take credit for this one, this is all Jacob.” Flo beams as she rests her handunder her chin, tilting her head and winking at her boyfriend. “He’s a gooden.”

Jacob’s cheeks are painted a faint crimson. “I’m pretty happy with it too. Let’s justpray it tastes okay. If it doesn’t, Nate can choose what to order for takeout.”

A chuckle erupts from every mouth at the table, including Nate’s. “J, it looksamazing. Thanks, man,” he says, a smile curling up his face.

“Well, Happy Birthday, Nate.” Jacob hoists up the beer bottle to the left of his plate,leading us in a cheer. “To chapter twenty-six, man.” he calls, Flo and I muttering another 'Happy Birthday' to Nate, while his cheeks mirror Jacob’s.

I wasn’t lying before when I told him I wanted to find out how he was. I was askingpurely for the girl who spent so many of his birthdays away from him, who wanted to know if he still hated them as much as he once did.

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