Page 87 of The Fate Of Us

A rush of air eases through my nose, as I shake my head back at Eleanor, my concealedsmile telling her everything she already knew. The way her hand fell onto my knee only confirmed it, holding it in a way a mother would console her daughter after her first heartbreak.

That thought seemed to trigger the waterworks, my lip beginning to quiver, her eyesmaking a beeline for it… Eleanor pulled me up out of my seat and into her arms before another tear had a chance to reach the swell of my cheek.

“No wonder you’re a writer. That was beautiful.” I practically sobbed into her pantsuit,decorating the fabric with sporadic wet patches.

Her sweet laugh rippled through me. “The truth is a rather beautiful thing.”

A cry, one that felt like it had been trapped in my heart for so long, finally broke through,as I sobbed, “I wouldn’t know.”

It was as though seven years of loneliness, heartache, and longing crashed onto myshoulders the second I stopped talking. My knees caved in from the pressure, the twisted power of love and how it was ruining my life. Too many moments of mixed emotions clouded my brain, so much so that second-guessing became rule number one.

Everything was at the surface… except for me.

If Eleanor hadn’t been holding me, I would be on the floor, the carpet burning myknees and the tender skin of my palms. There were no words for how embarrassed I felt, to have a woman I’d known for barely an hour cradle me as I finally gave up, and gave in to my emotions.

I couldn’t have told you how long we stayed in that room. I couldn’t guess. All I knewwas that the grunts and overly exaggerated sighs from the crew, just beyond the office door, sounded the least bit happy.

And oddly, the longer I let everything out, the better I felt. Like releasing a breath I’dbeen holding for seven years. Things were clear, crystal clear, and as the tears dried into my skin, I finally peeled away from Eleanor, meeting her glazed-over eyes.

And then a smile, like a slice of the moon, shone down on me. “And you said you hatedthe dramatic arts.”

After a sniffle and a swipe at my nose, a laugh, deep and earthy, erupts from my throat,and before I know it, we’re the opposite of how we just looked. Instead, my knees are arched from how hard I was laughing, Eleanor’s hand resting on my shoulder to stabilise herself.

But through all those giggles, we still heard the office door open, our heads whipping tofind one of the assistants poking his head through the crack.

“Sorryyy to interrupt, but Adaline, Seb is asking for you to head to wardrobe, he wants toget the first kiss scene lit soon, and Nate’s ready to go.”

I give Eleanor a knowing look.

“Not a problem, I’ll be there in ten.” When the assistant left, I angled my head back to her.“Are you staying to watch?”

“Oh, no, I thought I’d leave and have an early night.”

“Oh, okay—”

Her back straightens as she exclaims, “Of course I’m staying to watch! After you just toldme that? Are you kidding me? I want to watch the fireworks explode and set the lights on fire when you two kiss, for the first time in seven years, might I add.”

And just as my feet go to walk me out the door, I spin on my heels, my bottom lip sinkingbetween my teeth before I breathe, “Oh… yeah. About that…”

A little giggle slips out of my lips when I walk back onto the set. I bask in the feeling,however fleeting a giggle is. Compared to what I just unleashed onto Eleanor… I needed to laugh.

She’s the reason why I was finding it hard to pin down my smile, actually. As my eyeswandered to Eleanor, I giggled again, purely from how gaped her mouth still was, and how her eyes were worryingly wide, as though she’d just seen the history of the earth from beginning to now play across her mind in a millisecond.

I think it’s safe to say that the bomb I dropped on her about Nate and I kissing thismorning still hadn’t sunk in. I don’t thinkI’vefully gotten over it… I’m doubtful I ever will.

But, if there’s anything to be thankful for about this morning’s… activities… it’s that thescene we were about to film won’t be as awkward as we thought it would be.

Hopefully.

The bad butterflies aren’t revving their engines, but the good ones? They sped off andtook flight the second I walked out of his apartment. I wasn’t sure what to make of it. Of any of it. Perhaps it was just nostalgia coursing through my body, tricking my brain into falling into habits that I once craved.

Or maybe it was curiosity finally taking over. I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t thought aboutwhat it would be like to kiss him again, as a grown-up, with all the power and charm his teenage self hadn’t yet learned.

Or maybe, actually, it was because my books, my stories, were sitting beside us on thecouch after he’d secretly made them for me.I want to tell myself that I would have kissed anyone if they’d done that for me. But I hadto stop lying to myself.

About everything.

“Oooh, I love that outfit.” I hear Amber shout from the other end of the set, dashing her asmile and a wink as I strode onto the set.

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