Page 83 of The Fate Of Us

“Are you okay, Adaline? You’re breathing really heavily, honey.” Amber speaks, in thegleeful way she always spoke, and after another deep breath, I pull myself together and twist back to face her again.

“I’m fine, I promise.” Her eyes narrowed at me, the corners of them creasing in a way thattold me she wasn’t buying the lies, so I switched the subject to one I know she’s fond of. “How areyouanyway? I’m sorry I’ve not caught up with you in a while!” I beam, too brightly, while stretching up from the chair and leaning against it.

“Oh, you know me, I’m fine,” she said, pacing. “Can’t wait to head back to L.A. for therest of this shoot, to be honest, I miss it.”

Amber was a California girl like me, although she grew up in the eye of the glitz andglamour hurricane, while we had a little patch of normality up in the outskirts of Palm Springs. She only made an entrance into stardom in the last year of her teens though, unlike me, who had the bittersweet pleasure of memorising every audition room in West Hollywood from the age of six.

But you could tell she thrived there. In a way I never did. She was your textbookHollywood golden girl; the person you think of when someone asks you to name a celebrity.And, annoyingly, she wasn’t at all arrogant about it. She was as humble as a cartoon pieon a windowsill.

“Me too, it’ll be nice to see my…” Sister. Who’s leaving. For London. “…Family. And some time by the ocean wouldn’t hurt, too.”

“Oh, tell me about it. I miss surfing first thing in the morning.” she exclaims, as her eyesgo wide. “How about a surfing day together? Just us two?”

My lashes fanned at her, wondering if Nate had told her about our history on their outingstogether. Like he told Flo.

Nate was the one who taught me to surf. Well, he tried to. On one of our trips to Sunfall Pier,he decided to bring the surfboard he’d gotten the Christmas just gone. We both gave up after I lost his board to a ten-foot wave that pulled me under, and then we stood on the sandbank and watched the bright green board float off into the depths of the North Pacific.

Sand and salt in our hair, smiles stuck to our faces, and the golden sunset bronzing us.

Falling into a love we had no idea how to handle.

I stare back at Amber, paying attention to the hope in her smile. “Um, yeah… I guess wecould… if you wanted to.”

It’s then that I see her deflate, and for someone who is like sunshine personified, it’s quiteheartbreaking to watch. The corners of her mouth fall, as the tone of my voice hits her ears and tells her that surfing with her is the last thing I want to do. I feel awful, for a second or two, until those pictures of her and Nate sneaking off into cars together project in my mind.

Taking a step closer to me, she shook her head, her hands locking and pressing over herchest. “Have I done something, Addy? Did I say something to upset you? If I have, please tell me, and know that I didn’t mean whatever I’ve done for you to get so distant.”

I shake my head as I walk towards her, guilt rocking me as I hold out my hands to grabhers. “You haven’t done anything, Amber, I promise. The last month or two has been… too chaotic to put into words. This shoot is testing me, and I’m sorry if I made you think that you were the reason for me not speaking to you.”

She was the reason, for a moment in time. But the girl didn’t deserve the silent treatment,I barely had the energy to keep that up with Nate, now. Adding one more person to the list was a job I didn’t want to clock in for.

And if she and Nate liked each other… then… I was happy for them.

Although if this morning’s actions were anything to go by, if the way Nate squeezed mywaist and kissed me harder when he realised I wasn’t pulling away said anything, it was that he and Amber were nothing compared to us.

“I’d love to have a surfing day with you,” I told her, and smiled when I saw that sparklestart to twinkle in her eyes again.

“Eeeek! I know the perfect little private beach just up the road from Malibu, I can’twait!” She beamed before shaking her head, like she remembered something. “Oh, did you know that Eleanor’s here today?”

I did not.

I shook my head at her. “Well, she’s just in a meeting with the producers, and Sebastian,and then I think she’s gonna be hovering over the scenes today.”

What felt like excitement replaced what was left of that heat that had pooled in mystomach. “Oh, cool.”

“Well, I'll see you later, Addy.” She bends down beside her and plucks the box of tissues I’dthrown at her before, handing them back to me with a smile, her golden ponytail sliding over her shoulders as she tilts her head at me.

My eyes met hers. “I know what this life is like Addy, don’t suffer in silence. If you needme, come find me.”

Before I could say anything, she passed me a smile, before slipping back out of the doorand closing it behind her. And like the click of the handle was a starting pistol, I felt the tears I’d let slip before carry on falling.

Truthfully, I’d been waiting for the day when Eleanor, author ofForever and Always,would grace the set with her undoubtedly intimidating presence.

I wasn’t nervous to meet her. Nate had said at his birthday dinner that she mentioned shewas happy with how I was playing Anastasia. I think the only reason I’d rather lock myself in my dressing room all day is because, throughout the shoot, I’ve realised just how much I’ve fallen out of love with acting.

If I was ever in love with it in the first place.

The fame, acting… it was like my crush on Asher in some ways. For a moment in mylife, I could imagine a version of us that could have lasted, and taken over the world; but you can’t fully hand over your heart to someone, something, when something or someone else knows it’s theirs.

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