Page 91 of The Likelihood Of You

“Oh, my girl, I can’t thank you enough for tagging along with me this week. It’s been a dream come true.” She beamed, gripping my hands and squeezing them gently.

“I’ve loved it too, Nanna.”

Her eyes sparkled at me, as did her cheesy smile. “C’mon, let’s get back; I’ve got packing to do.”

Who was I kidding? Her leaving wasn’t bittersweet at all; it was horrible, and I’d tried my hardest to put off the thought of her jetting back home, but her reminding me that she was leaving tomorrow made my chest ache and a mixture of emotions ball up in my throat.

“You sure you can’t stay another week?” I asked, tossing my best attempt at puppy dog eyes at her, an oversized pout resting on my lips.

“You have no idea how much I want to stay, Candy Floss. I’ve had the time of my life, but I have to go. Anyway, I’ve got to get back and see what’s happening with Mary and Sandra. The day I left was when Mary found her bedspread covered in the canteen’s chocolate custard, and I don’t even need to tell you who was seen on the CCTV with the chocolatey ladle in her grubby mitts.” We both exchanged equally cheesy grins and low chuckles. “Now c’mon, that case won’t pack itself.”

With that, she began to walk back down the avenue we’d cut down to snap a disposable picture of her in front of the infamousFriendsapartment, pulling me alongside her as she did. As we slowly strolled back to my apartment, we took the time to go over everything we’d done this week. I was positive that we’d conquered the city. We’d eaten our way through Manhattan, basked in the blinding lights of Broadway, recreated the scene from ‘How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days’ on the Brooklyn Bridge when Ben goes after Andie, and gotten lost in the MET.

She’d also lost a few bets this week. It seemed that New York had turned her into an even more mischievous person than I knew she was. She turned to me at one point in the week, when I’d taken her to Sal’s to get some pretzels, and she bet me that I couldn’t finish my pretzels quicker than her. To which I turned to her, my eyes squinting with seriousness, and said, “Oh, you’re on.”

Long story short, she lost. She should have known better than to bet on an eating contest with someone who unashamedly inhaled her food. Rookie mistake on her part.

After that, it was like she was possessed with a gambling spirit and was focused on beating me at something. She tried to start a race with me up the steps of the MET. And she lost. She bet me she could hail a cab quicker than me. And she lost. I think it was when she was skipping around the shop floor of the Harrods on Fifth Avenue, when she bet me that I couldn’t find the most expensive thing in there before her, before she gave up. Her mistake was heading to the food section instead of the jewellery. And just like that, I was $50 richer.

It’s safe to say I’ve loved every single second of it, and would trade anything to have that time with her again. My absolute favourite sight out of the hundreds we’d seen was how alive and spirited Nanna became every time she got to tick something off her list. Every time shestood in front of and gazed up at a building or monument, it was like nothing could break her focus; nothing would interrupt that special moment she was having with herself.

We made it back to the apartment just as the sky faded into that lavender haze I loved so much. I would suggest we go get dinner somewhere, somewhere preferably outside, so we could spend our last night together eating greasy food with an even better view, but my feet were threatening to fall off, and judging by Nanna’s almighty yawn that she just let slip, I think ordering takeout and packing her case was what the night had in store for us.

It was also breaching Christmas in the city, so not only was it freezing, but the streets would become barely walkable within the hour.

“What do you fancy for dinner, Nanna?” I asked, taking our bags and hanging them on the hook above the door. “You haven’t tried Shake Shack yet, or I’m sure I could whip up something with…” I skipped over to the kitchen and yanked open my two cupboards. “Half a bag of rigatoni and an empty jar of Nutella?” I looked Nanna’s way, who had the kindest ‘I’d rather eat from the bins’ look on her face. “Yeah, maybe not.” I closed the cupboards and tried my luck with what was in the fridge, but all that was in there was some out-of-date chicken that I really needed to throw away.

“You know, I did want to ask you something,”

“Sure, what is it?”

“Well…” I watched her as she began fiddling with the hem of her vest top, which shot a spark of panic up my spine because, for the life of me, I don’t think I’ve ever seen this woman nervous, not even when we were both at the top of the Empire State Building and she had the nerve to ask if they let people go higher, to which the kind and slightlyscared information clerk told her the next floor after the one we were on, was the sky.

“I know we said we wouldn’t mention him this week,” Oh no. “But when Jacob came to see me,” Go away, butterflies, trying to concentrate here. “He told me about this lookout place where he found you one night.”

“Yeahhhh,” I drawled.

“Well, I was thinking…it’s still kind of light out, and if you’re not too tired, perhaps we could take a walk, and you could show me around?”

I didn’t know what to say at first. I just stood there and let her question swirl around my head. But after a few seconds of waiting for that impending doom feeling to hit me, I clocked that it wasn’t showing up like I’d expected.

The feeling that was there instead was more like that sweet nostalgia feeling I’d been warming to all week by having Nanna around.

To be honest, it was probably the only place Nanna hadn’t seen on her trip. Sure, we’d spent an afternoon in Central Park, mostly people-watching with sunglasses on, but the lookout never crossed my mind.

What was even more surprising in this moment was how easily I was thinking about Jacob, and how I didn’t want to reel in those thoughts and distract myself with something else. But was it really that surprising? I’ve had plenty of time this week, mostly while Nanna was delving into the thousands of identical gift shops, to really think about what happened.

I already knew before I left his apartment that day that he was innocent. But in the moment, I was so blinded by the past thatthere was no use trying to decipher the two moments. It was heartbreak, round two, the sequel. And running in the moment seemed like the right thing to do.

Looking back now, I knew it was.

Because now, I’ve just spent the best week of my life, exploring my new hometown with the person I treasure most, all thanks to Jacob.

If that wasn’t enough to tell that pesky voice inside of me that we could finally trust him, I don’t know what would. Besides, I'm positive that voice got caught in the breeze while on the way to see Lady Liberty. And I wasn't about to issue a search party.

“You know what? I love that idea, Nanna.”

Her eyes got wide, followed by her smile. “Really?”

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