Page 87 of Redemption

He was quiet for a moment. “What would you do if you weren’t here?”

I shrugged, I hated talking about what could have been. “I don’t know, business or something. But I wasn’t even doing that well at that. Which is why I feel ridiculous and embarrassed that I can’t fix the ranch. It’s like I’ve got a block.”

“A block?”

“Yes, a damn stupid block and I need to unblock it before we lose the whole damn place!”

I felt his muscles tighten like he was tense. He took a breath, started speaking then paused. “Do you think you have a block because you weren’t planning on doing this without Charlie?”

It was like he flicked a switch.

Everything fell into place: why I couldn’t focus on the ranch and think about what to do. Because I didn’t want to. I hadn’t planned on doing this on my own. Me and Daddy had always talked about me taking over while he was still around to coach me through it. We’d had it all figured out. I would spend years learning from him until he was too tired to teach me. I’d looked forward to the day he could be proud of me but that day would never come.

Tears sprang to my eyes and I buried my face in my hands as I sobbed. “He left me. He left me to do it all on my own and I’m not ready,” I cried. Jack put his arms around me and rocked us back and forth, shushing me gently and apologizing.

“I’m sorry sweetheart, I didn’t mean to make you cry.”

“But you’re right. I didn’t even realize that was why, but it is! He died and abandoned me, and I didn’t have a chance to do this with him.”

I cried a little longer, like the floodgates had opened and nothing was shutting them, and when I finally quieted something else occurred to me. “How did you know that’s what it was?” I asked softly.

I felt Jack shrug behind me. “Because that’s how I feel too.”

I pulled away and looked at him, his blue eyes swimming with unshed tears, sorrow emanating from him. “What do you mean?”

Jack brushed my hair behind my ears, smiling sadly. “He always talked about what we were going to do when I was free. How we were going to do this and do that. He’s the one who got me focusing on my future. Who nurtured the idea of exploring carpentry and promised me a future here at the ranch together. He got me dreaming again.” He looked away at the river, pausing and trying to harness his emotions. “But I just didn’t envision having to do this without him and I felt so damn lost.”

“You did?” I breathed.

“I did,” he replied, brushing a leaf off my shoulder. “Until you. You put me to work, didn’t take shit, gave mea routine, and a reason to keep going. Made me start thinking about what to do with my time, made me want other things and brought me back to life…” he trailed off and heat entered his eyes that my body immediately reciprocated. “But I understand that initial panic of being left alone to figure it all out for yourself when you were relying on the one person in this whole world who could have helped you.”

“Damn,” I said.

“Yep,” he chuckled. “We’re two of a kind.”

I looked deep into his eyes. “Thank you. Really. I wouldn’t have figured that out for myself.”

His thumb stroked over my jaw. “Yes you would, it just might have taken a bit longer but you would have. I told you, you’re amazing.”

I ducked my head as heat flushed my cheeks. “You know…” I cleared my throat, the words getting stuck. “You…you are too.”

“Yeah?” he said, sitting up straighter.

“Yeah. You’re a hard worker, you have an instinct about the animals that not many people do. We work well together and you’re a man of many talents…” I trailed off, my meaning clear.

“Would any of those talents be bedroom-related?” He quirked a brow at me.

I tried not to smile. “Maybe.”

“I think we should practice those talents right now,” The low rumble of his words had me shivering. But my stomach chose that moment to growl, loudly.

“You’re hungry?”

I nodded.

“Good thing I packed a picnic,” he said, nodding his head towards the basket strapped to the back of Pickles.

My eyes widened. “You did?”

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