Page 62 of Redemption

I kept going because of that pipe dream that I would one day be out of that place and at the ranch, working alongside Charlie. That became my dream. But that died the moment I found out he had too.

I tried to be excited about life but hadn’t been that successful until recently. I’d started carpentry, I’d grown excited about my future. I’d worked at the ranch, side by side with not Charlie, butKatarina.

It had been weeks since she lay beneath me, begging me to fuck her.

I’d done what she’d asked, I’d stayed away from her. I’d kept it professional and it was killing me. I didn’t know how much longer I could go without experiencing the perfect feeling of her long legs wrapped around my waist. The intoxicating sensation of her skin against mine, her hands in my hair and the drugging feel of her lips on mine.

She had me under a spell and yet, when she’d uttered those words while writhing under me, I’d freaked out. I’d gotten scared. And I’d ruined everything. I was a thirty plus virgin and I panicked because although I knew the mechanics of fucking, I didn’t know how tofuck her, the way she wanted, the way she needed. What if I disappointed her?

And I knew I shouldn’t have been doing that anyway. I tried to put up defenses against her but the second she chased me into my cabin, I knew she wanted it as much as I did. She was the only one I was concerned about. I would never do something she didn’t want, so the fact that she chased me, begged me, was a green light. No matter how many ways of fucked up it was that I wanted her.

So I’d done what she asked, I’d kept it professional. No matter how much I wanted to touch her, I kept my hands to my goddamn self and it was killing me. It was all of my own doing but I couldn’t handle it much longer.

Riding with her all day, working on the ranch, seeing her around town, it was too much. Sometimes I thought she was watching me but I never caught her. She had made it abundantly clear that she didn’t want anything from me so I must have been imagining the warmth of her stare as it lingered, tracking me from head to toe.Made me hard from just my imagination. Made me want to fuck her just like she asked, like shebegged.

By the time I got out of bed, the sun was setting and Teddy was whining and nudging my arm. I fed him, showered and pulled on my white Henley, black jeans and wrecked boots, ready to head to work and hopefully shake myself out of my funk.

I walked to The Lonely Bison. The fresh air filled my lungs and the tightness in my chest started to lift. The sun set as I headed into town and when I pushed through the saloon doors of the bar, I was beginning to feel normal again.

“Here he is!” Max shouted, flinging me a big grin. I waved and tried out my smile for the first time that day and was surprised to find it worked.

The bar was full to bursting with folks looking for a good time. The overwhelming scent of perfume, cologne and alcohol was oddly comforting, and I ducked behind the bar and got to work.

Halfway through my shift, Max sidled up next to me, groaning and shaking his head, gesturing to the woman walking away from me. “What’s the matter with you, dude? That woman was practically begging for a ride on the Jack train.”

I shrugged. I knew I should be looking to have a little fun and experience some feminine company but honestly, the thought of anyone other than Kat gave me the ick.

“Still hung up on the oldest Cartwright sister, huh?” he asked, grinning at me again and I kinda wanted to slap it off his face. But he was my only friend so I couldn’t.

“Speaking of Cartwright sisters,” I said and nodded towards the door where Tilly, the youngest, was peeking in.

Max cursed and when Tilly spottedhim, her eyes practically turned into hearts. “What is her deal?”

“She’s infatuated, that’s all. You never had a crush when you were fifteen?”

Max flipped me off and went over to Tilly, sharing some tense words before he closed the door on her. He came back to the bar, shaking his head.

I flung him the same grin he gave me, and he glared when he spotted it. “Not a word,” he warned and I laughed, feeling my chest ease again.

I dodged a few more women through the night, dug my hands in my pants pocket and managed to find two phone numbers which had been snuck in there and promptly put them in the trash.

The band had pulled Max up on stage with them to sing a few songs and although he pretended he didn’t want to, Max sang with a gusto that suggested he might be a fan of the limelight.

I was tidying up when I spotted that telltale light blonde hair hiding in the corner. I made my way over to Tilly. “You shouldn’t be here.”

She glared up at me but her eyes were glassy. “You’re here,” she replied, not making sense, then she hiccupped.

“Shit,” I murmured on seeing how wasted she was. Max would be furious she was here and drunk. If anyone spotted her and thought that Max had given her alcohol he could get in a lot of trouble. “Come with me,” I grunted and hauled her by the arm to Max’s office. I grabbed some water on the way and pushed her onto the couch, shoving the glass at her.

“Drink this.” I grabbed my phone from my pocket and opened my chat with Kat that had plenty of messages she hadn’t responded to. She’d left me on read, as I discovered was the lingo. I messaged her that Tilly was here and needed to go home.

“Your sister is coming to get you,” I said when I got Kat’s reply. “I need to get back out there. Stay here, drink your water, and don’t touch anything.”

“He’s the only one,” Tilly said sadly, turning to me with her huge green eyes magnified by her tears.

“Max?” I asked. “What did he do?” Anger snaked down my spine at the thought of Max doing something to hurt Tilly. He’d been great to me, but I didn’t really know him and there was a reason Tilly was hanging around so much.

“He was the only one who didn’t treat me like some dumb, grieving kid. He spoke to me like I was an adult, like he understood.”

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