Page 31 of Violent Delights

His hold tightens, and it’s as if safety is cocooning me for the time Nico is here. “It will be worth it in the end.” His words calm me, but I know it won’t be long before the panic will set in.

“We have to be careful,” I whisper. “We’re not really. We pretend we are, but we’re not.”

He pulls away and steps back to look at me like I’m the only real thing left in this world that’s so fragile, it can shatter at any moment. “Because when I’m with you, I forget to be afraid.” The honesty in his words hits me right in the chest.

“I don’t,” I say. “I’m terrified.”

His thumb brushes over mine. “Of what?”

“Of someone hearing. Of someone knowing. Of waking up tomorrow and finding out you’re gone or Ignacio coming for me in the middle of the night and sending me somewhere you can’t find me.” All my fears escape easily, and I have no way of drawing them back in so they’re hidden from Nico.

He steps closer. His voice is low, raw. “You think I don’t feel that too? Every time I leave, I wonder if it’s the last.”

I swallow hard and look up at him, seeing the darkness in his gaze. He may act as if he’s not scared, but I know he is. He’s just admitted it. “Then why do we keep doing this?”

He leans in. His forehead touches mine. “Because I’d rather die loving you than live like you’re nothing to me.”

A tear slides down my cheek before I can stop it. “I’m not ready to lose you.”

“You won’t,” he says, shaking his head adamantly. “Not unless you tell me to walk away.”

My chest tightens. “You wouldn’t listen.”

He smiles, but it’s hollow. “No. I wouldn’t.” He may offer a grin, but there’s truth in his words. Nico isn’t someone who can walk away from anything, especially me, and I’m coming to learn that.

We stand in the dark, hearts pounding, too close and not close enough. The fear is still there—coiled around my ribs like a sleeping serpent—but it’s not stronger than what I feel for him.

“I don’t know how this ends,” I whisper.

“Neither do I,” he says. “But I know how it starts. With you. Always with you.”

And when he kisses me, I kiss him back like it’s the last time.

Because it might be.

Nico leads me to the bed and allows me to settle in under the covers. He doesn’t join me because I know he can’t. He has to leave soon, which only seems to twist my gut like a knot. I don’t ever want him to leave me, but it’s safer when he’s in his quarters.

We stay there in the dark and I say, “I don’t know what you’ve done to me.”

A soft chuckle escapes his lips. “I haven’t done anything, Lia. I’m just me. As I’ve always been.” He moves and settles in beside me. We lie in the darkness as Nico speaks again, “I didn’t think I would ever love anyone. With my father being the bastard he is, I figured I would die alone. I never wanted anyone to sink their claws into my heart.”

“And I did?” I ask but don’t look at him because I don’t want to know the truth.

Silence hangs between us for a long moment and then Nico says, “You did, and I wouldn’t change it because it’s where I was always meant to be.”

And that’s when the quiet sits heavily in the air. I don’t know what I’m meant to say to that. So, I leave it. Long enough to feel like we’re suspended outside time, like the rules don’t matter,like this house doesn’t know we’re breaking every law it’s ever written.

Nico grows quiet, and when I sneak a glance at him, I realize his eyes are shut. He falls asleep for a moment—his back against the headboard, his arm draped around my waist like he forgot he’s supposed to leave. I watch the slow rise and fall of his chest and memorize the shape of his jaw in the low light.

I don’t touch him. I don’t breathe too loudly. I justwatch.

Because I don’t know if I’ll ever get this again.

And even if I do… it won’t be like this. Not quiet. Not safe.

I’ve seen what happens to people who defy my father. I’ve seen the consequence of loyalty torn in half.

When Nico finally shifts awake, blinking like he forgot where he is, I feel it. The weight of reality slipping back between us.

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