Page 50 of Keeping What He Wants

He backed her up to the kitchen table and lifted her so that her bare behind sat on the cold wooden top. Desire filled her eyes. Ryker pushed her legs apart and stepped between them to stroke her slick folds. Ella gasped as she fell back to her elbows, spreading her legs wider.

“You’re so goddamn beautiful.”

She dropped her head back as he inserted his finger. Ryker squeezed her breast with one hand while he leaned forward to suck her nipple into his mouth. He stroked, nibbled, and licked her, taking his time to enjoy every sensation. The desire overwhelmed him. Consumed him. A hot rush of fire coursed through his veins, and he lifted his head to stare into her eyes. There was nothing he wanted more in life than to finally make her his. He didn’t know the rules, and he didn’t care about them. Ella was it for him, and there would never be anyone different to take her place.

“Will you marry me?” The harsh rasp in his voice sounded foreign to his own ears. He withdrew his hand and propped himself up above her, his cock prodding her wet folds. “I need you in my life. I want you by my side.”

She kissed him, tightening her legs around him. Her heels dug into his ass, forcing his cock into her welcoming body. She was fucking home to him. She was it. There would never be anything else that was better than Ella, and even with all the bullshit they went through, he wanted no one but her by his side to weather the storm.

He filled her in one slick move while they kissed, eating at each other’s mouths like their life depended on one another. Some days he felt like he was drowning. He knew he had been before she’d stepped into his world. He knew better than to drag her into the mix, but Ryker couldn’t help but reach out and beg for her to save him.

Hips pumping, he rocked into her, completely enveloped. She made him want to be a better person. He’d gotten clean. He believed with his entire being that she’d help keep him stay off the drugs too. Cravings didn’t happen like they had a few months ago. He had a sporadic one every now and then, but Ella was always there and he simply chose to focus on her.

The wooden table squeaked with their movements. Ella clung to him as much as he clung to her. Ryker lifted her into his arms, never stopping their kiss, to carry her into the bedroom. She was what mattered to him. Her. He poised over her, linking their fingers above her head as he continued to thrust into her. She gasped and arched, her mouth falling open as a soft cry left her lips. He loved her more than anything in the world.

“I love you,” he whispered against her mouth. Emotions came from nowhere as he buried his face against her neck. He’d never known love until Ella. She was love to him.

He stiffened above her and came with a soft grunt of pleasure. He looped his arms around her and kept her close, afraid that if he opened his eyes she’d disappear forever. Many days he saw her like that. His fantasy. His dream. His father had fucked with his head too much, making him think that life outside the club wasn’t worth living. That people outside the club weren’t worth having.

Ella had proved him wrong on both counts. He moved away from her and lay there, contemplating the bullshit running through his mind. She deserved far more than he could ever give her. More than he ever dreamed about.

For a while, they were silent and wrapped in each other. So much ran through Ryker’s mind. He liked spending time alone with Ella. He liked that she talked him into getting out of the city for a few days.

“You look lost in thought.”

Ryker rubbed a hand over his face. “I need to tell you something.”

Ella rolled to her side. “Okay.”

He swallowed hard. If she was going to be his wife, then she deserved to know his history. All of his past. He sat up, not quite looking at her.

He struggled with whether or not he should tell her, and ultimately decided to. “I was fucked up on drugs, and we had club business in New Orleans about three years ago. Beth was new to the club but not the life. My father arranged for us to be together.”

“Okay.” Her confusion was evident.

“We fucked nonstop for three days.” He propped his chin on his hand. “And she got pregnant.”

“What?”

He glanced over at her. She sat up, staring at him with wide eyes. Ryker licked his lips. “It was part of my father’s plan. The future of the club. He wanted me to take the baby and raise it on my own. Groom him as the next leader of the Roaming Devils.”

She blinked. “Where is the baby?”

“She miscarried.” He cleared his throat. “I told my father that I wasn’t going to do it. I had no intention of having kids and I didn’t want them. I don’t know what happened, but Beth miscarried after that. We never talked about it again. We never will either.”

He had no intention of raising a child on his own. His father had given him a decent life, but it hadn’t been a good life. He’d seen things, knew things before he was truly ready. He didn’t want his kid to grow up in that madness.

So he’d told Beth to get out of it. To leave the club and raise the kid on her own. But she hadn’t wanted that. She had wanted to have his baby. She had wanted to be his bitch. Ryker rubbed his eyes. He didn’t know what had happened afterward and had never bothered to ask. All he knew was she wasn’t pregnant anymore and he really couldn’t say he was disappointed. It had been a trap that his father had set, and he knew the rules of the game, a game he didn’t want to play.

“So that’s why she wanted you. To secure her future with the club.”

“She wasn’t in love with me. She wanted the life.”

Ryker turned toward Ella. She had gotten up and went over to her bag for clothing. He watched as she dressed and tried to gauge her mood. She didn’t like talking about Beth, and he could only imagine what she thought about the woman being the potential mother of his child.

“You hold me at a different level than you do everyone else. It’s caused tension between me and your friends, between us.” She moved toward him, lying beside him. “When I was in the club and you were looking at me, for once, I felt like I really fit in. Like I really belonged with you.”

Ella did belong with him. Letting her into that life was a very bad idea though. “You don’t need that to fit in.”

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