Page 76 of The Arrangement

“Who are you going to come for?”

“For you, Sebastian.”

And just like that, everything came crashing around me and I stiffened. I could feel Wolfe’s tongue on me and his fingers sliding in and out but it no longer made my toes curl.It was like icy water had been thrown over me and my arousal disappeared.

“Stop,” I panted, so softly I barely heard it and with a crack in my voice I cried, “Red, Sebastian, red!” The mood shifted immediately, and without a word, Sebastian was off of me and the usual apartment lights flipped on. I sat up, the cold marble against my exposed skin unyielding but grounding me as I caught my breath.

Sebastian had his mask off and his eyes were filled with worry and apprehension. “Are you okay?” he asked gently before handing me a water bottle from the fridge.

I took it but didn’t drink it, instead hopping off the counter and tearing off my mask. “I can’t do this, Quinn.” Silence descended on us as Sebastian set his mask down, his full attention on me.

“Do what?”

I threw my arms up. “This!” I gestured to the lights, the cameras, and the mask I still had clenched in my shaking hands. “You! I can’t do it.”

Sebastian was rigid, his eyes barely blinking as he observed me. “Why?”

I choked back a sob as I turned around to pull out my pants from my bag. “I can’t, please don’t make me say it.”

“Yeah, okay.”

I stiffened at the words, though I had no right to. “Just okay?”

Sebastian looked at me incredulously. “What do you want me to say, Clark?” I didn’t know, or I did know but I didn’t know how to verbalize it. I didn’t know how to give it a name.

“I don’t know,” I whispered back, my eyes filling with tears. “I don’t know and I’m sorry.”

Pulling my bag over my shoulder, I took a step in the direction of the front door when Sebastian exclaimed, “Or maybe you do know, and you’re just too chicken to say it.”

That had me spinning around, my tear-glazed eyes looking at him up and down, “You don’t get to say that to me.”

Sebastian placed his hands on the kitchen island, the same golden eyes I had fallen for now glaring at me mercilessly with never-ending waves of hurt. “And you don’t get to just walk away and expect me not to fight for it.”

“There's nothing to fight for, Quinn.”

In a brief moment of anger, Sebastian slapped the countertops. “That's bullshit and you know it. You’re just scared! There is something here. Something between us.”

I straightened at the word. “I am not scared, Sebastian Quinn.” My bottom lip was quivering and I hated it. “What’s between us is sex. It was just supposed to be sex!”

“Yeah, well it isn’t now!” Sebastian cried out, the small vein across his forehead pulsing at the explosion of emotion.

A sob rose in the back of my throat at the ache that blossomed in my chest at the pain in Sebastian’s eyes as his whole body leanedtowards me, but he held himself back. As if the only thing separating us was the kitchen counter and not the weight of my rejection.

“I can’t do this,” I muttered as I turned to the exit, my hand touching the cold metal of the doorknob.

“Can’t or won’t?” Softer this time, more hesitant like he didn’t want to know the answer. I didn’t turn back to see him, because I knew if I did it would break me. “Do you really not want me, Georgia?”

“It doesn’t matter what I want.” And with that, with my heart breaking, I left.

The driveto the Morning View Assisted Living was filled with silence; no radio, no music. Just the depths of the stillness that seemed to pour from my broken heart as I drove. I couldn't seem to swallow around the lump in my throat; the twisting of my stomach hadn't ceased since the morning Sebastian left. Deep down, I knew it was I who had abandoned him.

The self-fulfilling prophecy of my own making; you couldn't get let down if you left before they enviably did. As I parked, the burning in my eyes made it hard to see, so I dug the heels of my hands into them, breathing a deep, shuddering breath as I willed the tears to pass.

I cleared my throat, remembering that this was what I had wanted to do for so long. I was finally able to pay off a whole year of care for my grandma. No matter what happened with my job or my future, she would have sustainable care for at least a year while I got my life together.

With a deep, shuddering breath, I blinked back any threatening tears as I exited the car, thankful for the biting wind. It was an easy explanation for the redness around my nose and eyes.

"Georgia! Good to see you!" greeted Abbey, sitting at the front desk and passing me the clipboard to sign in.

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