Page 155 of Can't Always Get What You Want

“You want to tell me what’s going on?” Gio is calm. No more shouting. “I want to hear it from you.”

He wants the version from my mouth, in my words, so I can’t pretend anymore that I don’t know what I’m doing.

So I turn.

I face him.

And I say the words that make it real.

“I’ve been seeing Luca.”

He nods once, slow and quiet. “How long?”

“A while.”

My brother hums inside his throat, bracing his hands on the kitchen counter. “Why were you afraid to tell me?”

I exhale slowly, twisting my fingers in the hem of my sweatshirt.

“Because I didn’t want to lose you.”

His entire face drops into a frown. “You thought that would happen?”

I shrug, even though everything inside me is shaking. “You warned me not to date anyone on the team. You warned your team to leave me alone. Luca…” I pause. “Didn’t want to lie. I asked him to wait. I was scared ofthis.”

Gio studies me. Like he’s trying to see past the words to the part of me that’s been quietly unraveling behind closed doors. Like he’s trying to understand me the way I understand him.

“I didn’t say all that to control you,” he says finally. “I said it because I’ve seen what this league can do to people. The idea of you getting caught in that crossfire…” His voice goes quiet. “We’ve already lost so much, Nova, but it was selfish of me to tell you how to live your life and who to fall in love with.”

The air catches in my throat.

Fall in love with.

I don’t correct him because it is how I feel.

I nod. “You were trying to protect me—I get that.”

He crosses his arms, leaning against the counter. “Can I ask you a very personal question?”

I do not want to agree.

“Why don’t you think you deserve to love someone out loud?” he asks gently, lips downturned at the corners. “You think I don’t notice how small you make yourself when you care about someone. Like you have to build them up, put them on a pedestal instead of choosing yourself?”

My bottom lip quivers.

“Do I do that?” Make myself small?

“Yeah. You do.” My brother nods. “You think I didn’t want to keep things quiet with Austin at first? I did. Because of the same fear. The pressure. The bullshit that comes with people watching.But eventually, I had to ask myself—why not me? Why don’t I deserve to shout about it like everyone else?”

His keen eyes are locked on mine. “So why notyou,Nova? Why don’tyoudeserve that?”

I’ve asked myself the same thing a million times. Some nights when I’m lying awake I wonder what it would be like to hold Luca’s hand in public. To kiss him like we had nothing to hide. Toexisttogether without looking over our shoulders for cameras or my brother.

“I don’t know,” I whisper. “I guess I thought if I kept it small, it would hurt less when it ended.”

Gio tilts his head. “Does itfeelsmall?”

I shake my head. “No.”

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