“Are you all right?” I asked, frowning.
“Yes,” Elijah said.
My frown deepened. “Really?”
Elijah looked away, his trembling giving way to whole-body shivers.
“No,” he whispered, so softly I could barely make out the word.
TWENTY-ONE
Elijah
DAMN IT. I WAS losing it, and I hadn’t intended to let that slip out. “I need some air,” I managed in a strangled tone. I was aware that if I left, I’d be leaving Em alone with the alphas. But, if I stayed, it would be so I could melt down in front of her.
That was worse, right?
I lunged up from the lumpy sofa and power-walked toward the cramped staircase leading to the deck—trying not to look like I was fleeing. I had to get my freak-out pheromones out of this confined space. And, more honestly, I had to getmeout of this confined space full of mingling scents that had somehow tripped a switch in my hindbrain. A switch that had no business getting tripped now... or ever.
The third alpha, Onyx, was up here somewhere. Sailing the ship, so they were probably too busy to notice a hyperventilating omega staggering over to the nearest railing and clutching it for dear life. That’s what I told myself, anyway.
The sea air—thankfully free of mingled alpha and omega perfume—slapped me in the face in a way I desperately needed. It was cool this late at night, the same breeze that filled the sails above me rustling through my hair like fingers.
No. Not like fingers. Like... something random that rustled hair and wasn’t remotely sensual or alluring.
Unbidden, the image of Curran’s gnarled fingers stroking over Emma’s head rose in my mind’s eye. They were worn and callused, those hands. Hands that had seen hard work, and maybe some fights as well. I wondered how they would feel running over my—
I drew in a sharp breath, clutching the railing until I could feel my knuckles grinding.
“Goddamnit,” I whispered.
My chest ached. I stared out across the water with wide, unblinking eyes. The Titania was long gone. Out of sight, leaving the little sailboat skimming through the darkness all alone.
Alone.
I’d left Emma alone with two alphas.
My mind circled endlessly.Spiraling. The ache in my chest was getting worse. My peripheral vision had turned gray and fuzzy. I couldn’t catch my breath, even though I was gasping air like a drowning victim.
“Elijah.”