Page 43 of Knot for Sale

“’S okay, dove.” Elijah’s tone was laced with anxiety. So was his scent.

Curran ducked his head until I reluctantly met his gaze. “You’ve done nothing to apologize for, pet,” he said. By contrast, his scent was clean and free of negative emotions. Reassurance distilled into a little glass perfume bottle. “But we’re telling it to you straight. If you take a blocker now, it won’t stop your heat. You’ll just be trying to throw up your own toenails the whole time. We’re in the middle of miles of saltwater, and there’s no medical support nearby. I won’t be giving you the blocker because it would be physically dangerous for you if I did. I’m sorry.”

I tried to make the words make sense, and slowly shook my head back and forth, sensitive skin sliding against Curran’s callused palm where it still cupped my cheek.

“No,” I said, trying to sound calm and reasonable, and not like a crazy person. “No, you have to. I need it.”

But the alpha’s expression was unyielding. “You don’t need what it will do to your metabolism, Emma. Now, can you tell me what scares you so badly about going into heat? That’ll help the rest of us figure out what’s best to do to help you.”

I realized I was shivering. Why was I shivering when it was so hot in here? I licked my lips. Then I had to fight the sudden urge to turn my head and lave my tongue up Curran’s palm. Startled,I jerked my head away from his touch. He let me, his light grip falling away from my wrist as well.

He’d asked me something, I realized. What had he asked me?

“What was the question?” I whispered.

“What is it about your heat that frightens you?” he repeated patiently. “Is it because you don’t know us, or—”

“I have to keep control,” I blurted. Because that... that was important. If I ever lost control during sex—

“Oh, dove.” Elijah sounded quietly devastated. “I’ve got really bad news for you.”

“Can you tell me a bit more about that, luv?” Curran prompted.

I tried to get some moisture in my mouth, which felt terribly dry despite the ocean all around us.

“I c-can’t ever lose control. Otherwise, they’ll know.”

Elijah drew in a sharp breath. “Oh. Because you’ve been hiding as a beta.”

Curran glanced away, exchanging a look with him, then brought his brown eyes back to me and nodded. “So, you’ve been living as a beta, and you’ve had beta lovers? Is that right?”

I gave a hesitant nod in return.

“And if you’d ever let yourself enjoy it enough to come, you’d’ve clamped down on them and given the game away,” Curran went on.

I nodded again, feeling suddenly ashamed. Then I got angry at myself for the shame. And then the tears started welling up once more. My eyes ached. But then again, so did everything else.

Curran’s brows drew together. “No offense, pet. But that sounds like a miserable way to be getting on.” He hesitated. “Have you ever had a natural heat before?”

I shook my head. Ma had given me blockers the moment I started perfuming when I was thirteen. That had only been a few weeks before she’d died. The tears ran faster.

Curran let out a soft curse, though it was clear he wasn’t angry at me, specifically. He breathed in... he breathed out. The tension in his shoulders melted, and his scent gained a deeper note of reassurance. I swayed toward him again, my brief stretch of lucidity fragmenting into sparkling fractals.

“All right, pet,” he said, the words a low rumble. “You don’t have to hide from us. We already know you’re a perfect, beautiful omega. And around here, we look after omegas. We keep them safe, and we make sure they have whatever they need.”

His brown gaze flicked from me to Elijah, who gave a stuttering little half-breath in response.

Elijah swallowed audibly. “She said earlier that she’d accept your help if the blocker didn’t work. Yours and the others. But I won’t let you just start...ruttingon her when she’s this scared. That’s not going to happen.”

“Damn straight it’s not,” Curran said. “Maybe you weren’t listening a minute ago. Omegas get what they need. She’s going to need us within the next few hours—and she’ll need you, too, Elijah. But she also needs to be in control... so she’ll be in control. Now, why don’t you help her get out of this life vest. Orange isn’t really a good color on either of you.”

“Tell it to Louis Vuitton,” Elijah muttered, but some of the sourness was fading from his scent. “Their stylists might disagree, at least for her.”

Curran gave a wry snort. “Make yourself comfortable. The others’ll be back in a few minutes, I expect. Can you eat something? I imagine we’re both gonna need it.”

Elijah knelt next to me and started tugging at safety buckles. “Maybe something light.”

Curran nodded and rose a bit stiffly. “Don’t envy what you’re having to do for her today, lad,” he said. “But I admire the hell out of the way you’re doing it. And I know this may sound like a load of malarkey right now—but things really will be all right in the end.”

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