Page 99 of Nanny for the Cowboy

Kissing me again, Clover smiles against my lips, and I lean into the embrace, needing to feel her in my arms.

As much as my logical mind wants to pick at the details and dwell on the unknowns, I’m going to allow myself this moment. I’m going to enjoy myself for once.

“Well,” I step back, holding Clover’s hand as I gesture toward the window, “shall we?”

She nods. “Yeah.”

We climb back out onto the roof. Darby has set up an incredible feast on the picnic blanket, and the sun is just starting to set, the swirling colors better than any photograph or painting can capture.

“God! You took forever!” Darby calls out, patting the blanket by him. “Come on!”

Clover crosses the roof carefully, sitting next to Darby, and I sit right across from them. She hands me a beer as she takes one for herself, and Darby holds up a glass bottle of Coke.

“Cheers, boys.” Clover offers a wink, holding up her drink. “To much-deserved breaks and…good tomorrows ahead of us.”

Darby grins so damn wide, and I’m right behind him. We both hold up our beverages, and everyone clinks them together.

The air is warm, and I hear crickets singing down below us. Even as the breeze picks up, it’s plenty hot enough outside to make staying out under the stars comfortable.

Sandwiches and chips fill us up as the sky grows darker and darker. Darby laughs as Clover tells him terrible jokes, and then he perks up as an idea hits.

“Ooh, let’s play the movie game!”

Clover furrows her brow. “The movie game?”

“We go around the circle, going through the alphabet, and say a movie title or character name that starts with that letter. So we could start with A and sayAnnihilation. Make sense?”

I smile as Clover tosses her head back with an exaggerated “Oh!”

She nods, Darby bouncing happily where he sits. “Got it. Sure. Let’s play!”

The game starts up while we keep munching away and sipping on our drinks. It’s a wonderful night, so unexpected in so many ways, and I am truly happy in the moment.

I’m with the people I love. What’s not to be happy about, right?

Freezing in place a little, my heart skips as I realize what I just thought—the people I love, including Clover.

Well, shit.

But who am I kidding? Of course, I love her. I’ve known it’s been happening for a while now. The thought was just so organic. These are the people I love. End of story.

My chest pinches, and I have to recenter myself. Clover isn’t leaving, but that prospect might still be on the table in the future.

All I can do is hope and pray she doesn’t, though, and be the best partner I can be for her. Because if Clover leaves, she’ll take my heart with her—the whole fucking thing, not just a piece, and I won’t survive without it.

THIRTY-SIX

Clover

It’s been a week since Kyle’s call and the fallout that came after. Still, I’m glad I talked with Brooks. I’m also happy that I told him what I’ve been feeling for a while.

I want to be here.

It’s still the truth, and I need to be better about being honest with myself and everyone else. However, it’s also still true that Kyle is furious with me, and I don’t know what to do about him.

It’s also true that we haven’t talked to my dad about any of this, and I know that’s coming, too.

I won’t give in to Kyle’s demands. I won’t allow him to hurt me or use me, but that’s all I’ve got, really. Well, that’s not true. I have Brooks, and he’s just what I need.

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