Page 52 of Cleats and Pumps

“Oh,” I said, turning back toward an older man who didn’t look like he belonged in a bar full of young Broadway stars singing their lungs out just for the hell of it. “It’s all in good fun.”

“Maybe, but you know, you could take it to the next level… if you wanted to.”

I laughed. “Dude, look around, there’s more talent in here than I’ll ever posses. This is the next level,” I said and waved my hand around the room, then slammed my shot.

He looked at me funny, then smiled. “You don’t know who I am, do you?”

I shook my head. “No, should I? Wait, do I owe you money?”

The guy chuckled. “Funny too… Yep, you’re perfect. Meet me tomorrow at this address.”

“Wait? Why?” I asked, confused.

“Oh, that’s where we’re holding auditions… we’re auditioning songs fromKinky Boots, and, baby, you’re made for Lola.”

What the fuck? “Um, sir… I’m a football player. I’m not a Broadway star…”

He laughed. “Son, you’re a drag queen who has been outed recently. Your career is in limbo. Trust me. This is Providence. Lola…” he said and pointed at the card. “Come try out.”

I knew Lola well… like really well. I fell in love with the musical when it’d first come out, and I dreamed of playing the part. But, shit… I wasn’t Broadway level. I’m just a football player who likes to play around in drag.

I tucked the card with the name of the guy, Anton Wagner, in my pocket, though, and kept patting it as the night wore on. I ended up getting so anxious I took a cab back to Ford’s place and went to bed earlier than I normally would. For fuck’s sake, could this really be happening? Me, of all people, auditioning for Lola? And how the fuck had that guy known all he had about me?

Then I remembered all the recent press about me. One quick Google search on his phone would tell him all he needed to know.

I called out for Ford’s Alexa to play Lola inKinky Boots,and she complied. I pulled the lyrics up on my phone and began practicing the songs. I’d never get the part, but shit, one day I’d tell my kids that I’d auditioned for it.

That made me think of Tommy… Did he want kids? Shit… forget that… Learn Lola’s songs so I can perform the shit out of them. That’s what I needed to do.

By the time the sun broke over the horizon, I’d learned the songs well enough that I could sing them. Thank God for myability to remember lyrics. Thank God, Ford had stayed at Dorian’s so I could. The only song I struggled with was “Not My Father’s Son.” Too many unresolved issues there.

I left with more than enough time to get to the audition, but I was starving by the time I got to the address, so I grabbed a coffee and a couple bagels at a place on the corner.

By the time I finished eating, I saw people going into the theater. “Guess this is it…” I said. I thought about texting someone to tell them what I was up to but… Tommy had made it clear he wasn’t there for me right now. Owen? Josiah? No, it didn’t feel right. This was stupid. I was just doing it for fun.

I was a football player. So why was I more nervous now than I had been at any tryout I’d ever done in my football career?A question for another time. I drank the rest of my coffee, rushed to the restroom ’cause I didn’t want to have to find one over there, then headed over.

Shit! This was happening.

“Everybody Say Yeah” was the first song they wanted me to sing. The other guys knew the choreography.Fuck, this is not going to work… I started to panic, but then I thought about how much I loved to perform.Fuck it, I can learn choreography. I can either perform or not.

So, when it was my turn, I did my own thing as I sang the song along with the other singers. I could tell I hadn’t impressed anyone with my performance, but I just laughed. I hadn’t come to them looking for a job— they’d come to me.

“Sex Is in the Heel” was next, and by this point, I was just having a fun time. I thanked God I’d had plenty of practice in heels ’cause these damned heels they gave us were intense. Unlike the first time I performed, I knew how to work a pair of stilts so hot it made hell jealous.

Instead of trying to follow the choreography I didn’t know, I just let it all happen and had a fucking great time. I was no longer even worried about getting the part.

We ended with “Raise You Up.” I had so fucking much fun. I saw the guy from last night for the first time then, and he was smiling. I winked at him from where I was, causing him to smile even brighter.

I owed him for letting me come do this. The other divas around me were not impressed with me, and I knew there would be some shade thrown my way before all was said and done.Nothing I hadn’t dealt with before, bitches.

When the song ended, I went backstage and changed into my regular clothes, not that we had much of a wardrobe. They were just checking to see if we could walk in heels, I assumed.

I was getting ready to leave when I was stopped. “Um, we’re not done,” the woman said. “They want you to sing ‘Not My Father’s Son’.”

Shit, this is where the fun ended. I thought about just leaving and sparing myself the tears that wanted to fall every time I sang that song. Oh well, that demon himself had instilled one thing in me I would never lose, and it was to never quit before the game was finished.

I stood on stage, and as the music started, I felt the lump form in my throat. I forced it down, but not enough that I was able to hide my emotions. I sang the song but didn’t get far before sadness overtook me.

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