Page 49 of Cleats and Pumps

We slept in each other’s arms as the afterglow instantly took us.

Euphoric— that’s the word that best described my feelings in that moment. We slept, then woke up and showered, then fooled around some more. After the night of passion, I followed Amos back to the practice field and watched as the kids went through drills. I guess having loved him, and after making love without any of the mishaps from our earlier years, I saw him in a different light.

He was happy out there, happy playing on the field, and happy messing around with the kids, teasing them, then hounding them to do better.

Jake clearly enjoyed working with Amos too. I mean, who wouldn’t? Even if he wasn’t famous, he was fun to be around. I sighed as I thought about what being in a relationship with me would mean for Amos. He said he didn’t care, but how could he not?

It was too much for him to give up his career for me. With that in mind, I walked down to the field and reminded Jake to send me the permission slips for all the kids, hoping I’d at least get the permissions I needed for the kids I wanted to use in my pictures.

I drove back to the hotel, opened my laptop, and began writing. I wanted to do a couple articles, the first one being just “Where is Amos Clark?” The next would be after the kids were actually playing against other teams. I’d have to come back for that.

I’d interview the kids and Jake then, and hopefully, this article would generate enough interest for me to get paid well. It sucked that it almost always came back down to money. I needed to make a living. At least this way, I was making a living doing something good and not evil.

Unfortunately, journalism seemed to walk that fine line between the two.

34

Amos

“You’regoingbacktomorrow?”I asked, sad that Tommy was leaving so soon.

“Yeah, I want to spend some more time with my grandma before I take another job. So, what do you think of the article?”

“Oh, yeah, it’s good. And you didn’t make it sound like I was saving the team or anything like that. Jake is a good coach. I wouldn’t want him to think I was trying to overshadow him.”

Tommy smiled at me. “Yeah, that’s what I figured…”

I crawled over and pushed Tommy back on the bed. “So, if you’re leaving tomorrow…” I said, causing him to laugh.

“Yeah?”

“Well, you know… maybe we could do a repeat of last night?”

“Oh I’m up for that, but first… Amos…”

He paused for several seconds until I lay down next to him. He looked over at me and sighed. “I… I think we need to go at this smart. I don’t want to be the reason you lose your job for good. If word gets out that we’re dating… well, I mean you’ll be comingout of the closet and only one other player in the NFL has done that, and his team was… well, understanding. Yours isn’t.”

“I’m tired of hiding,” I said and stood up to get a bottled water out of the mini fridge. “I want my life back.”

“And what?” Tommy asked. “You’re done with football?”

I shook my head. “No, of course not… but if I’ve learned one thing from this summer, it’s that my interaction with football can be what I make it. I don’t have to be in the NFL to be happy.”

“You’re in the prime of your career, Amos… Don’t just throw it away without thinking about it.”

“Now you sound like my dad,” I said, and although I wanted that to sound funny, my frustrations betrayed me.

Tommy sat up, looking sad. “There’s a lot to consider here, Amos, too much. So, this time I’ll pull back. Let you have some time to think, to figure out what you want. If you can get traded to a more understanding team, maybe…”

“Or maybe I just want to make decisions myself,” I said, cutting him short.

Tommy stood up and pulled me into a hug. “I love you, Amos. I have never stopped, and I want you to make those decisions for yourself. But, if I’m in the middle of your life, I know you well enough to know you will be making those decisions based on me and my role with you.”

He leaned up and kissed me, then sighed. “If…” he paused and played with his keys. “If you want to take this further, then maybe this fall, when I come back to interview the team and watch them play their first game, I… well, then we can talk about what’s next… okay?”

I didn’t want to let him go. I wanted him to stop being so fucking rational and stay with me. Give us a chance. Instead, he kissed me again before he left.

My heart was broken. Tommy had left me again… even after we’d cleared the air. After we’d both made love, he’d left me… again.

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