Page 18 of Cleats and Pumps

“It’s not like it should be this hard,” Josiah had chastised me on more than one occasion. “Listen, if you don’t want to rip his clothes off and kiss him until you’re so hot and bothered you can’t think, then maybe you belong in the friendzone.”

“Ugh, Josiah, not everyone thinks about sex all the time.”

Josiah laughed because even I loved to watch porn and got off on it. But I liked both straight and gay porn. I guess I was just a voyeur or something. Maybe that was it. I was a voyeursexual. I chuckled internally at my stupid joke.

“If you want to be roommates, be roommates. If it becomes more, you can renegotiate. Besides, Owen is friends with you both, so if it comes down to it, and if things get sticky”— he snorted, and I rolled my eyes at the pun—“then you can bunk with Owen while you figure it out.”

He made sense. I wanted to take things as far as my inhibited mind let me. I wanted a relationship with Tommy but couldn’t force myself to take that next step, so roommate seemed logical.

I’d been right to ask. We hit it off. Like, really hit it off. He was amazing, so smart and caring. I would never have a friend who cared for me like Tommy. And I did my best to reciprocate. He came to the games and talked football shit with me. I read and edited his class papers and even helped him with the articles he submitted to the university’s newspaper.

Life fell into a nice flow. Him with me, me with him. Friends circled us as a pair. He would sometimes go out with some jock from school, and at first, I felt like ripping their heads off, and I know that was fucking jealousy, but then he’d decide they were a tool, and Tommy would be mine again.

Ugh, I knew he was having sex. Luckily, he didn’t talk to me about it. I guess even he knew there were boundaries. I was certain I couldn’t handle knowing he was fucking someone. I didn’t even confide that information to Josiah since I knew it meant I felt more for Tommy than I’d allowed myself to admit to feeling. I also knew Josiah would kick my ass if I disclosed that. Best to keep my jealousy to myself, at least for now.

That worked great, and we were doing great, our friendship becoming stronger and stronger. Then, one night, halfway through our junior year, things changed for me.

The dream started in the middle of the action:

Tommy was under me, my cock rubbing against his. He was thrusting up against me. I moved down his sleek runner’s body and slipped his cock into my mouth. I’d never given a blowjob,so I had no idea what it would feel like, but my imagination took over, giving me inspiration.

I woke up jacking off, covered in sweat. I glanced over at Tommy’s sleeping form, and God, I should’ve stopped. But the dream, the imaginary feel of his cock in my mouth… I bit the pillow to force my mouth shut as I came.

Embarrassment flooded me, and I snuck another peek at my best friend and roommate. Luckily, he appeared to still be asleep, so I got up and climbed quickly into the shower. Best that never be repeated. Reminder to self, jack off at least once a day so your brain doesn’t need to make up sexual interludes of your best friend while sleeping next to him.

After the embarrassing wet dream incident, as I thought of it, I found ways to keep us busy. And yeah, being busy was as much to keep me from blabbing to Tommy that I wanted to be more than friends. The dream felt too real, and I was hungry to know what it’d feel like to have Tommy’s body pressed up close to mine.

When I found an article in the campus LGBTQIA newsletter about a drag competition in San Antonio, I internally rejoiced. Oh yeah, we need to do this. But the three of us needed practice first. I found an amateur night coming up at one of the local gay bars and signed us up.

I’d always been able to sing. When I was little, my grandma used to stick me on the stage at church and force me to sing for the congregation.

By the time I was in high school, I was singing for money all over town, and although singing was fine, performing was what really sent me into a fit of ecstasy.

I had no idea how to do drag, and since Owen, Tommy, and I had only just turned twenty-one, we hadn’t been to many drag shows.

Neither Tommy nor Owen were into it, but Owen had talked me into escorting his cousin to her sorority dinner in Houston, so I had something to hang over his head.

Unfortunately, Tommy only gave a portion of himself while performing. He was okay, but you could tell he’d only come to appease me. Which, honestly, I was thankful for.

Tommy looked the most demure of the three of us. Owen and I were tall, and I was a lot bigger, but Tommy was small in stature, and his features were delicate, although he always argued that he was built rugged. Like hell he was. But there was no arguing with Tommy. Not where his body was concerned.

Tommy had attractive high cheekbones. He referred to them as his native bones, although he once told me he assumed he was Native American, but not knowing his dad, he wasn’t sure.

The blush on those cheekbones tonight made him appear fierce and beautiful. The look sent funny sensations to my stomach. Maybe I was straight after all. Seeing Tommy as a woman certainly caused me to think about sex.

Ugh, I couldn’t stop thinking of him that way.Dude, you’re perving on your best friend… again.Maybe it was time to get a real date. I thought of Owen’s cousin and shook my head. No, she didn’t do it for me. Although she was pretty, she didn’t have the right… something.

5

Tommy

“Whyareyoualwaystrying to pull us into some wei rd ass scheme?” I asked Amos when he had brought up the idea of doing drag in San Antonio during pride.

“It looks like fun. Come on, guys— Tommy, you’ll be a beautiful drag queen. Besides, I might get extra credit for my drama class.

Owen just shook his head. “No, dude, no thank you. I’ll come support you though.”

“No way. You gotta do this. Besides, you owe me,” he told Owen, earning a nasty scowl.

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